Never has my enthusiasm for WWE, the main roster anyway, waned to such a point that I have this strongly considered just not watching. I never thought it would happen. Maybe it helps I have NXT and especially New Japan, but the quality of the shows is not helping.
First off, I am so, so done with the commentary. Absolutely everyone, even Corey, was fucking horrible. They were so obnoxious , with the exception being Tom Philips. He wasn't great, he just did his normal job, which put him light years above everyone else. I wanted to slap these people before the night was over, it was that bad. I was half way tempted to mute the event and throw on some random japanese commentary in the background.
Skipping the kick off show, we open proper with Daniel Bryan vs Big Cass. An improvement over their last match, but terrible for an opener. Daniel Bryan is clearly trying his damndest to make this work, and Big Cass is improving a little, but the match was really just nothing.
Bobby Lashley vs Sam Zayn is exactly a match worthy of their feud, which is to say, trash. Zayn gets squashed in an anti climactic fashion. It's amazing how they can be either incredibly lazy or ridiculously convoluted. You would think an annoying chicken shit poking the bear kind of storyline would be so simple to make work, especially with Zayn as such a good heel, but they had to do in in the worst ways imaginable. Please let this be the end.
Seth Rollins has a pretty good match with Elias. Probably the 2nd weakest PPV match for Seth behind that tag match at the rumble, but still leagues ahead of these first two outings.
The Women's money in the bank ladder match was good, better than the previous two, but when Alex Bliss won my enthusiasm deflated. Her titles reigns have been nothing but dull...
Oh, did I say dull? Good timing, cause next up is Roman Reigns vs Jinder Mahal, a match where both men lost in a 90 second squash against the crowd's enthusiasm. The apathy was so bad, I think it physically wounded Jinder Mahal, who got a cut across his cheek at some point in the match. It reminded me of Naito's bleeding in the match with Jericho, which is not good cause it made me think I would rather be rewatching Dominion than watching this. Roman Reigns won, but since Extreme Rules is coming up, we'll probably have a rematch. I shudder to think we might see the return of the punjabi prison match.
You want to get Reigns over? Put a stipulation in his match with Jinder where if he wins, the entire booking team is fired. That will make him a hero.
What's the best way to follow up that wet fart of a match? Why another one, of course. Asuka vs Carmella's complete lack of skill and ability. Carmella is the female Jinder Mahal: a pre lim worker being given a top title, except with Jinder there's at least some half way logical reason. If this were being booked logically, Asuka should have completely and utterly dominated Carmella the entire match, so of course they have Carmella work Asuka over. For the ending, Elsworth comes in dressed like Asuka, and Asuka, like a complete idiot, stands there for an entire MINUTE staring in pure fright, like this was Onibaba all of a sudden. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQBs2ToRpmo
The woman who in NXT, got distracted by Dana Brooke and Emma during a match, only to turn around and hit a KO blow, is now so stupid that she is standing in fright of someone dressed in her garb. Carmella wins, cause of course we have to continue this terrible title reign.
I was about ready to quit, and only didn't because I at least wanted to see this next match, AJ Styles vs Shinsuke Nakamura in a Last Man Standing match. This was an awesome match. I have nothing bad to say. They started slow and built up masterfully. The false finishes were incredible, the high spots great, Nakamura continuing to be the best heel in the company behind Tomaso Ciampa, these two hit it out of the god damn park.
Coming off the high of that, we got Niax Jax defending against Ronda Rousey. These two had a really solid match, which is what it needed to be: short and hard hitting. Then the ending came, with Alex Bliss breaking it up, cashing in her contract, and winning the title, because Alexa's nearly half year reign, which was tedious, boring and made the women's division on Raw irrelevant, needs to be brought back. One can only hope she drops it at Summerslam or even Extreme Rules. I don't care, I am just so done with Bliss, especially when we have the even worse Carmella as Smackdown women's champion.
and not helping is , again, the fucking commentary. So Coach decides to try and do something right by hyping up the storyline, talking about how Alex now has Nia Jax and Rousey mad at her. But of course, trying to get people excited about your feud is bad, so Cole buries him for raining on "one of the greatest cash ins ever".
Then we have the Men's Money in the Bank ladder match. It was fine. Probably the weakest Money in the Bank ladder match since at least 2012, the one that had four people in it, but it wasn't bad. Hopefully Strowman winning means we're moving on from another Reigns and Lesnar match.
But this event, added to all the other crap, even when they have great stuff, they find a way to ruin it. I'll be skipping Extreme Rules unless they put together an amazing card. I'll watch Summerslam as a testing point, but if that turns out bad too, I'll probably walk away from the main roster stuff for the forseeable future.
Can't find a movie or TV show? Login to create it.