Homer becomes a fortune cookie writer for a Chinatown restaurant. Mr. Burns reads one of Homer's fortunes, which says that the reader will find love before Flag Day is over. Burns goes searching for love and meets Gloria, a meter maid, and asks her out. Gloria reluctantly agrees, and Burns recruits Homer to help him look young and hip to his new girlfriend.

Marge is held hostage during a bank robbery and forms an uneasy bond with one of the thieves before he's taken to prison.

Bounty hunter Ned is forced to scrap his partnership with Homer when the hapless layabout skips bail, and Marge mistakenly takes a job at an erotic bakery.