When Reverend Lovejoy subjects the congregation to an extended Bible reading, the Simpsons fall asleep and have dreams based on Bible stories.

With Lisa's help, Homer uses his vast knowledge of food to become the town's leading restaurant critic. But when he gets petty and vindictive in his criticisms, all the other chefs in town try to kill him.

Homer gets a bucket stuck on his head, and when it is removed the town is convinced that Bart has the powers of a faith healer. Then mobster Fat Tony tries to turn the boy's spiritual abilities into more sinister directions.

Lisa enters a tap dancing academy, where the teacher is a child star who never quite grew up. Meanwhile, Homer gets laser eye surgery.

Homer becomes a Good Samaritan after discovering the simple joys of helping people in need–which is put to the test when he goes on a hunger strike after the owner of the Springfield Isotopes attempts to discredit him when Homer stumbles on his plot to discreetly move the team to Albuquerque, New Mexico.

A jaw injury from colliding with a new town statue turns Homer into a better listener while recuperating with his jaws wired shut, but once the wires come off, Homer does not go back to being loud and obnoxious and Marge becomes starved for thrills.

Lisa competes at a spelling bee and earns the right to compete in the Spell-lympics, becoming the pride of the town. The host of the show George Plimpton, asks her to intentionally lose so that a more popular boy can win. Lisa refuses and continues to compete, but accidentally misspells a word and loses. Meanwhile, Homer tours with a group obsessed with eating Krusty Burger's latest sandwich.

Homer's mother returns, and after being cleared of all charges, is re-imprisoned on a technicality.

Krusty discovers that he never had a bar mitzvah as a child. He quits his show to have it as an adult, with the help of his father, Rabbi Krustofski. Meanwhile, Homer hosts a late-night talk show a la "Politically Incorrect with Bill Maher" as a replacement for Krusty's show.

The Simpsons go on a late-night attic search after Bart and Lisa (who are freaked out over a horror movie Homer let them watch) begin hearing voices -- and find Marge's ex-prom date Artie Ziff, who's on the run for cheating the shareholders of his company.

Homer, Grampa, Apu and Flanders travel to Canada to buy sorely needed prescription drugs with fake Canadian health-care cards.

Springfield legalizes same-sex marriage to increase tourism. After becoming a minister, Homer starts to wed people to make money. Meanwhile, Marge's sister Patty comes out as a lesbian and reveals that she is going to marry a woman named Veronica.

Lisa agrees to enter a Krusty-sponsored "Li'l Starmaker" competition and panics when another contestant (guest voice Fantasia Barrino) outperforms her.

Homer becomes Springfield's safety guru and before long he's challenging Mayor Quimby for office. Until, that is, there's an embarrassing mishap with his costume.

After Bart steals a key from Principal Skinner's office and gets himself into hot water, Marge and Homer send him to a behavior modification camp.

The family attends "Stab-A-Lot: The Itchy and Scratchy Musical." The musical's director is a graduate of Springfield Elementary and Principal Skinner puts his foot in mouth when he makes sexist comments about her education and that of women in general. He tries to make the situation better, but only buries himself deeper and deeper until he is fired and replaced by Women's Educational Expert Melanie Upfoot. The first thing she does is split the school into girls and the boys. Lisa dislikes the way girls are being taught math and she ventures over to the boy's side of the school in search of a challenge. Disguising herself as Jake Boyman she starts attending the boy's school but while she finds the math problems more interesting, it is being a boy that is a greater challenge.

Homer is bamboozled by Army recruiters and winds up in basic training, where he runs afoul of a tough-minded colonel and is assigned to play the enemy in war games.

Selma and Grampa embark on a May-December romance, and Bart and Lisa get into trouble with deliverymen over cardboard boxes.

Marge opens a gym for real women because she's disenchanted with Springfield's snooty, glitzy L.A. Body Works. Her gym, Shapes: A Gym for Women, is a huge success, launching a chain that makes Marge rich and famous. But Homer fears Marge will leave him for someone more attractive and goes to extreme lengths to try to save his marriage.

Bart joins the 4-H club and raises a calf to be a blue-ribbon-winning bull, but panics when he learns the bull will be slaughtered.

Lisa learns she is good at crossword puzzles and enters a city-wide contest. Homer discovers he has a flair for letting loved ones down so he opens Sweet Conclusions Break-Up Service, but lands himself in trouble with his daughter when he places a bet against her in the competition.

Moe once again searches for love and falls for a woman named Maya over the Internet. However, when Moe meets Maya face-to-face, he discovers it's more like face-to-knee, as Maya is only three feet tall.

Marge and a group called the "Charity Chicks" pose for a calendar in hopes of raising money for charity, but Marge becomes the talk of the town thanks to her racy poses. Meanwhile, Carl is chosen as the newest supervisor at the nuclear power plant, and hires Homer to be his personal assistant.

Bart becomes convinced that his new neighbor, Walt, is his archenemy, Sideshow Bob, disguised and back for revenge. But when Marge tries to convince Bart otherwise by taking him to visit the state penitentiary, a disturbing truth is revealed.

Lisa starts coaching Bart's Little League team; Marge and Bart spend the day at an amusement park, where former MLB manager Mike Scioscia gives Bart advice.