Mary coerces Matt into asking his friend Brian (guest-star Jason Behr) to take her out on a date despite his lack of interest in her. Although, things begin to heat up between the two kids while on the date---but ultimately ends in disaster after Mary finds out the truth. Meanwhile, Lucy is invited to a sleepover of popular girls, but Lucy is unaware of the group's real intentions for inviting her. Also, Simon begins to teach Ruthie how to swim without taking lessons. Lastly, Eric becomes convinced he's fat and thinks he's getting away with cheating on his diet.

Eric's no-nonsense father, John ""The Colonel"" (guest star Peter Graves) returns when he learns an array of problems in the Camden household. Mary is jealous of a new member of the basketball team who is getting a lot of the attention. Lucy's declining grades are due to her hanging around with a bad crowd, while Ruthie needs to copy Simon in his quest to be a magician. Meanwhile, Eric is oblivious to all of the family troubles around him as he's preoccupied with writing a sermon that is to be covered by a camera crew. Meanwhile, Annie is doing all the chores at home and at church alone while everyone else is doing their own thing.

Eric helps a single mother named Harriet and her son Clarence to try to convince the IRS that she shouldn't be responsible for her ex-boyfriend's enormous debts. Annie confronts the kids about their lack of good manners after an incident at a ""Free Sunday Blue-Collar Special Lunch"" at a restaurant. The kids do not take Annie seriously and fool around. Meanwhile, Matt accuses Mary and Lucy of placing a personal ad in his name in the school newspaper for a date. Also, Simon and Ruthie try to figure out how to pay off Happy's accidental credit card and purchase.