Patsy helps Edina break in her new isolation tank upstairs, while Saffron works with classmates on a presentation for her sixth form college's open day. Edina is left feeling useless after Bubble, now a dedicated professional, takes charge of the office. She takes a sudden interest in Saffron's presentation and begs to be invited to the open day. When Saffron vehemently refuses, Edina throws a tantrum and threatens to adopt a Romanian orphan—to the point of instructing Bubble to send over a selection of babies so she can pick one. She then frantically tries to cancel the deal, but it is too late. Saffron eventually allows Edina to attend the open day. However, the presentation is interrupted as the babies arrive and start wailing, angering Saffron. Edina then wakes up in a panic, still in her isolation tank, and realises it was all a dream.

Patsy becomes the subject of a tabloid sex scandal following an affair with a married MP. Edina checks into a hospital for surgery after injuring her big toe. Patsy tags along, planning to undergo a chemical peel in preparation for her interview with Hello! magazine. While anesthetised, Edina dreams that she is on her deathbed, surrounded by idealised versions of family and friends, while Patsy envisions herself looking young for her Hello! spread. Edina awakens to find that her pains were caused by a stray acupuncture needle that worked its way from her cranium to her toe. Meanwhile, a botched facelift leaves Patsy's face covered in burns. The Hello! spread is also a disaster, with the article reporting Patsy's age as 49, blaming her for the sex scandal and revealing her horrific facelift.

Patsy convinces Edina to hire two male prostitutes (through Edina's hairdresser Christopher) for an orgy on the night of Saffron's university presentation. However, Edina is unable to loosen up, and the prostitutes are not particularly enthused, either. Patsy attempts to enliven the mood by playing a video of an orgy she and Edina attended in their youth, only to find that it has been accidentally switched with a tape of Saffron's school project. Fearing the worst, Edina and Patsy accompanied by Mother, Christopher and his drag-queen boyfriend rush over to the university, though not soon enough to prevent a mortified Saffron and her classmates from watching the orgy tape, which shows couples having sex while Edina is asleep.

Edina is left feeling helpless after Saffron leaves home to attend university. Patsy loses her job when Ella magazine folds; she later receives an offer to work with her colleague Magda at a New York magazine. Edina and Patsy commiserate drunkenly with each other over old age and the sudden changes in their lives. Saffron returns for a visit, appalled at their behaviour. When Edina announces plans to sell the house before embarking on a journey of self-discovery, a livid Saffron storms off. Edina's plans also mean that she is cutting off Patsy. Embittered, Patsy leaves as she decides to take the job in New York.

Saffron's first play, Self-Raising Flower, which details her troubled relationship with Edina, is due to open in a local theatre. Worried about being portrayed in a negative light, Edina unsuccessfully attempts to sabotage the play. As the rest of the family gather for the opening night, Saffron decides to invite Edina, who reluctantly attends with Patsy. The two are surprisingly amused by the play—despite the fact that Patsy is played by a man. The play becomes a roaring success due to being perceived by the cast and audience as a comedy, as opposed to the tragedy Saffron had intended.

Edina builds a panic room. Patsy is at her shop, Jeremy's, when Minnie Driver walks in. Minnie complains about not scoring any free stuff from other shops at Bond Street, and takes pictures of herself shopping to sell to the paparazzi. Patsy is determined to become Minnie's stylist, so she later invites Minnie to Edina's house. She has gathered racks of designer outfits with which to dress Minnie. When Minnie wants a necklace that Edina is wearing, Patsy wrestles Edina for it, and they accidentally lock themselves in the panic room. They believe they will be unable to escape for days because Patsy panicked and kept pressing the buttons on the keypad. While they are locked in, they play Trivial Pursuit over the intercom and camera with Saffron. They also discover that Minnie Driver has taken all the designer clothes. At the end, Edina and Patsy discover they were locked in for only a couple of hours.

Edina begins an ad campaign for Prince Charles' biscuits, and claims that it is "by royal appointment". she begins to associate with the wealthy socialite crowd, and buys a weekend at a country house hotel. Upon arrival, Patsy and Edina discover that nothing is in season, and the place doesn't even have any jacuzzis or massage. Patsy tells Edina that the Rothschilds were laughing at her. Edina becomes angry and determines that she will kill something, and goes out with Patsy with guns blazing in the middle of the night. They bring a pheasant back to the hotel, which Edina puts in the closet. In the morning they discover that the pheasant is still alive. Patsy tells Edina to pull its neck but Edina bonds with it and drugs it and releases it into Hyde Park. At home, Emma and Sarah bring gifts to Saffron for a baby shower, and Sarah becomes obsessed with Emma. Sarah stalks Emma, and Saffron eventually calls the police and has Sarah arrested.