An arachnophobic gourmet columnist seeks help from a woman he spurned when he discovers a hairy, and obstinate, little guest crawling in his kitchen sink. A mother and father learn the hardships of parenting. A careless braggart foolishly exaggerates his meager talents to a crackpot surgeon. A widower investigates an unusually strict military academy for his delinquent son.

A philandering husband schemes to murder his wife with the aid of a ghost. A thirsty vampire visits a young woman, with disappointing results for him. An unscrupulous medicine man in the Old West promises to heal a poor farmer's dying daughter. A recent initiate is surprised to find that Hell is a little tame for his liking.