Carrie becomes furious with Doug after he is hospitalized to remove his appendix and begins talking about other women while sedated. To ease the situation, she writes a list of acceptable fantasies – and women – for Doug to dream about.

What starts out as a valiant effort to win back the heart of Spence's ex-girlfriend, Denise, quickly goes south as Danny gets a sudden case of lockjaw and the group spends all the money they took out as cash advances from their credit cards. To Carrie's dismay, she can't buy groceries because unbeknownst to her their credit card has been maxed out by Doug. Meanwhile, Arthur fills in at the front desk of the senior center and has some words with the pudding vendor.

A bedridden Carrie gets Doug to team with Arthur for a shuffleboard tournament, but his skills aren't to Arthur's liking. Meanwhile, Carrie pretends to continue being sick so that Holly will continue to cook for her.

Doug decides to pursue a long-abandoned dream to become a bartender, much to Carrie's angst. Although she starts to warm up the the idea, Doug soon realizes that dreams are not always what they are cracked up to be. Meanwhile Arthur enters the dangerous world of politics.

While eating at a new cafe with Deacon, Doug manages to agitate their waitress so much that she demands they fight once her shift ends. Meanwhile, Carrie asks Holly to go shopping with her, only so that she can use her van.

When Doug and Carrie accidentally get a transcription of one of their arguments, they decide marriage counseling might not be a bad idea. And when Arthur gets hold of it, their argument becomes entertainment for a senior citizens' group.

The Palmers' vacation plans are ruined when Doug frightens Major so much that he refuses to be babysat by the Heffernans. In the meantime, Arthur begins hiring out himself and friends from the senior center to ride with solo drivers so they can use car-pool lanes.