Jane Levy as Tessa Altman

Episodes 57

Pilot

74%
September 28, 201130m
1x1

Tessa and her father experience culture shock when they move out of New York and into a house in the suburbs.

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The Barbecue

64%
October 5, 201130m
1x2

Surprised Tessa realizes she is attracted to her jock suburban neighbor; George feels pressured to throw the perfect barbecue.

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The Chatterer

62%
October 12, 201130m
1x3

When George joins the PTA, he becomes well-liked by all the moms, which has Shelia (Ana Gasteyer) feeling threatened. Meanwhile, Tessa joins the school newspaper and with some help, turns it into a tabloid-style paper.

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Don't Call Me Shirley

68%
October 19, 201130m
1x4

When Shelia's Shirley Temple doll collection is stolen, Tessa can't help but be amused, until she faces the consequences. Meanwhile, afraid of being burglarized, Dallas and Dalia stay at the Altman's house.

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Halloween

72%
October 26, 201130m
1x5

Tessa channels her inner "suburban girl" for a Halloween costume, but it ends up spooking her friends and everyone at school since she reminds them of a recently "departed" resident of Chatswin. And George is determined to prove to Halloween-hater Dallas that being scared can be fun, but gets a scare of his own when Steven Royce (guest star Jay Mohr), Dallas' husband, finally comes home from one of his many business trips.

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Charity Case

62%
November 2, 201130m
1x6

Irritated by all the cafeteria waste at school, Tessa motivates the student body to get involved with giving back. Unfortunately their charity of choice involves helping residents of Florida improve their complexions. When Tessa introduces a homeless transsexual to the student body as part of a lesson, they decide that Tessa is really the person in need. Meanwhile George receives a large dental bill from Noah, which puts a strain on their relationship.

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Sweet Sixteen

72%
November 16, 201130m
1x7

When Tessa tells Dallas that she wants a simple get together for her sixteenth birthday, Dallas convinces her to let Dalia plan the ultimate birthday extravaganza at the country club, complete with a live performance by her favorite band, specialty drinks and go-go cages. Meanwhile George throws his back out and Sheila Shay takes it upon herself to care for him, even though George is terrified of her.

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Thanksgiving

68%
November 23, 201130m
1x8

Depressed that she has to spend Thanksgiving in the suburbs, Tessa convinces Dallas to take her to the city for a girls' day out. During their fun day, they run across George making out with a woman while he was supposed to be "working." Angry with George for lying to her, Tessa confronts him during the Royces' Thanksgiving dinner. Meanwhile Lisa refuses to wear a special dress Sheila picked out for her, so Sheila decides to literally turn up the heat.

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The Nutcracker

68%
December 7, 201130m
1x9

When Tessa overhears George break up with his girlfriend, Zoe, on Skype, she blames herself for his failed relationship and decides that she's going to get them back together. Unbeknownst to her, though, George is really enamored with Tessa's cute art teacher, Aimee. He admits to Mr. Wolfe that he's over dating crazy city women, and that he's looking for love in the burbs. George decides to embrace the holiday spirit with a tree trimming party complete with ex-girlfriend, potential new girlfriend and the Royces, and he soon finds himself under the mistletoe with a special someone.

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Driving Miss Dalia

68%
January 4, 201230m
1x10

When Tessa gets her driver's license, Dalia hires her to drive her around to stalk her crush, Scott Strauss. As a result Tessa realizes that she and Scott might have feelings for each other. Meanwhile George and Noah's relationship is put to the test when George decides he wants to join the local country club.

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Out in the Burbs

72%
January 11, 201230m
1x11

When Tessa is asked to show new guy Josh Sherman around school, she becomes convinced that he's gay, when in fact he's an undercover narcotics officer. Lisa becomes deeply infatuated with Josh, and Tessa inadvertly convinces Mr. Wolfe to make special announcement to the student body. Meanwhile George re-evaluates his relationship with Dallas.

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The Casino Trip

70%
January 18, 201230m
1x12

When George wins an all expenses paid trip to Atlantic City, he enlists Noah, Fred, Tom and Alex, and it turns into a getaway with the guys. During their trip they run into Steven Royce (who is supposed to be in Singapore), and they help Fred cope with his gambling problem. Meanwhile Tessa tries to get some alone time with Scott Strauss.

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Sex and the Suburbs

68%
February 8, 201230m
1x13

Tessa enjoys rubbing it in Dalia's face that Scott Strause chose her over Dalia. However the closer Tessa gets to Scott, the more nervous George becomes. When George discovers a box of XXL condoms that Lisa has given Tessa, he becomes obsessed and starts planning game night with her friends in hopes of keeping her at home more. Meanwhile Tessa soon discovers that the more time she spends with Scott, the less attracted to him she is.

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The Body

64%
February 15, 201230m
1x14

When Tessa realizes that she's failing gym class, she decides to run for student body president in hopes of changing Chatswin High's obsession with sports. During the election, Lisa steps in as Tessa's campaign manager against Kenzie and Kaitlyn. Meanwhile, Ryan is injured during a wrestling match and finds himself mourned by his family, and George takes Ryan under his wing and introduces him to people who have moved forward from setbacks.

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Fire with Fire

68%
February 22, 201230m
1x15

When Jill turns to the newly single Dallas for inspiration and support, her marriage to Noah goes on the rocks. Meanwhile Dallas begins spending a lot of time with her hot younger boyfriend, Yoni, which causes tension with George, and Dalia befriends Lisa to get back at Tessa for dating Scott Strauss -- so Tessa decides to take action and recruits Kimantha to make Dalia jealous.

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Poetic Injustice

66%
February 29, 201230m
1x16

When Fred and Sheila strike up a croquet match with Dallas and George, Fred misreads Sheila's interest in George. Fred tells George that Sheila is fantasizing about him and asks him to seduce her. Meanwhile Tessa desperately wants to impress the new poetry teacher, Ms. Evans, but she seems to prefer Dalia's prose.

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Independence Day

66%
March 14, 201230m
1x17

When George picks Tessa up late from school she decides to get a job working for Dallas in order to buy her own wheels. Meanwhile Dallas invites her sorority sisters to stay with her in order to celebrate the opening of her store, A Crystal Cup of Crystals; however her rival sorority sister, Tulsa, decides to crash the party.

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Down Time

66%
April 11, 201230m
1x18

When Dallas's divorce is finalized, George becomes concerned and includes her in a shopping trip with Noah to buy a new mattress. Meanwhile Dalia makes a breakthrough in therapy with her psychiatrist, Dr. Richard Rohl (James Lipton), Lisa and Malik try to set up Tessa, and Ryan takes Tessa on a date.

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Entering Eden

68%
April 18, 201230m
1x19

George begins dating Eden (Alicia Silverstone), a woman he met at the town's farmer's market. Tessa helps Dalia find her missing dog.

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Hear No Evil

68%
May 2, 201230m
1x20

As George and Eden's relationship gets serious, he decides to introduce her to Tessa, who is preoccupied with her job at Crystal Cup of Crystals. Meanwhile, George and Noah make a deal regarding George's relationship boundaries with Eden, and Eden is overwhelmed by Sheila's meddling and the Werners' overprotective behavior.

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The Great Compromise

70%
May 9, 201230m
1x21

While Tessa tries to adjust to living with Eden, George takes issue with Eden's parenting; Lisa and Malik consider which camp they should attend.

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The Motherload

68%
Season Finale
May 16, 201230m
1x22

Tessa feels a void as Chatswin celebrates mothers; Dalia goes to Israel without Dallas; Eden reacts to a baby shower's theme.

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Homecoming

60%
October 17, 201230m
2x1

Tessa returns to Chatswin after spending summer with her grandmother; George finds Tessa's renewed interest in her mother threatening; Tessa signs up for the Fall Follies; Noah and Dallas compete for Carmen.

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The Witch of East Chatswin

70%
October 24, 201230m
2x2

When Tessa convinces Delia and her friends to think up feminist-inspired Halloween costumes, she attracts the attention of the Chatswin witch; Noah and George dress as each other; George misunderstands when Dallas asks him out.

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Ryan's Song

70%
October 31, 201230m
2x3

Lisa agrees to help him with Tessa; Dallas invites her life coach along on her first date with George; Tessa baby-sits with Opus.

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Foam Finger

70%
November 7, 201230m
2x4

When Dalia abandons her friends Kimantha, Kenzie and Kaitlyn to hang out with her father's fiancee, her former pals turn to Lisa and Tessa; George and Dallas take their relationship to the next level.

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The Wishbone

70%
November 14, 201230m
2x5

Tessa decides to spend Thanksgiving in the city with her mom and grandmother; George hosts Thanksgiving dinner for Dallas.

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Friendship Fish

60%
November 28, 201230m
2x6

George starts to feel comfortable in the suburbs after Dallas gives him a makeover; while Malik is away for a couple days, Lisa decides to spend every minute with Tessa.

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Krampus

80%
December 5, 201230m
2x7

George assumes that Tessa will be thrilled to go on an excursion with her mother in New York, but Tessa finds herself missing Chatswin and her father; the Shay family is thrown into turmoil when Ryan finds out he was adopted.

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Black Thai

100%
January 9, 201330m
2x8

When Dalia receives a new car after PSAT results are released, Tessa becomes obsessed with finding out Dalia's score; Jill and Noah ask Mr. Wolfe to tutor their baby.

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Junior Secretary's Day

90%
January 16, 201330m
2x9

George has to manage Tessa's recovery after her wisdom teeth are removed and deal with Fred Shay, who has moved into their basement after a career setback; Dallas is insecure about her relationship with George.

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Chinese Chicken

50%
January 23, 201330m
2x10

George starts to feel stifled when Dallas' efforts to promote his business go overboard; Tessa learns what life is like as a football player's girlfriend.

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Yakult Leader

40%
January 30, 201330m
2x11

When Yakult feels depressed, Dallas asks Yoni (Wilmer Valderrama) for help; the Shays ask Tessa to set Lisa up on a date.

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Body Talk

50%
February 6, 201330m
2x12

Dallas learns that part of her property is in East Chatswin, meaning she gets kicked out of the country club and Dalia must attend a neighboring high school. Meanwhile, Tessa is tapped to produce a Chatswin High TV show called “Teen Talk,” but worries about her new responsibility when Ryan becomes the show’s host.

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Blowtox and Burlap

0%
February 13, 201330m
2x13

Tessa convinces Ryan to attend an art house movie with her on Valentine's Day; Sheila's mother, Gam Gam causes friction between Fred and Sheila; and when Dallas has a bad reaction to a cosmetic procedure, George has to enjoy an 18-course meal from renowned Chef Julio solo.

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T-Ball & Sympathy

0%
February 20, 201330m
2x14

Tessa begins dispensing romantic advice—whether people ask for it or not—though her attempt to help Mr. Wolfe doesn’t work out so well. Meanwhile, George helps Dallas coach a T-ball team; and Noah and Dallas still can’t see eye to eye.

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Leaving Chatswin

80%
February 27, 201330m
2x15

George is deeply affected when Marty passes away; after learning that Ryan has been dishonest, Tessa considers the future of their relationship and her plans for college.

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How to Be a Baby

80%
March 6, 201330m
2x16

Dalia tries to help Mr. Wolfe recover from his breakup with chef Alan; George and Dallas are caught in the crossfire when Noah becomes convinced that Carmen is the love of his life.

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Eat, Pray, Eat

80%
March 20, 201330m
2x17

When Dallas fears she will never compare to Alex, George's ex, she seeks solace in Jill Werner -- and carbs; Tessa thinks she has lost her youthful vigor; Noah uncovers a secret about his psychiatrist.

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Brown Trembler

90%
March 27, 201330m
2x18

After Noah's divorce, George offers him and Opus a place to stay until they get back on their feet; Dallas realizes that Dalia is a hoarder; Fred asks Tessa to help him land his dream job.

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Decemberfold

70%
April 3, 201330m
2x19

George's newfound obsession with his body image alienates Dallas; Lisa figures out why Dalia is being nice to Tessa.

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Go, Gamblers!

0%
April 10, 201330m
2x20

Tessa helps Ryan choose a college; George asks Dallas to move in with him; Sheila sells George's house.

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Apocalypse Meow

0%
April 17, 201330m
2x21

Dallas helps George tell Tessa that he has sold their house; when Dalia tries to make Tessa miserable, Tessa seeks revenge.

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Stray Dogs

0%
Season Finale
April 17, 201330m
2x22

Sheila talks Mr. Wolfe into throwing a chastity ball at the high school; George buys Dallas her dream house.

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No Me Gusta, Mami

68%
January 15, 201430m
3x1

George hopes to rebuild his relationship with Tessa; upset about George and Dallas' breakup, Dalia shuns her mother.

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Victor Ha

60%
January 22, 201430m
3x2

Affected by empty-nest syndrome, Fred and Sheila take in a foster child; Tessa tries to disrupt George and Dalia's friendship.

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Open Door Policy

30%
January 29, 201430m
3x3

When George lets himself go after the breakup, a worried Tessa calls on George's dad for help; Tessa learns Ryan will be bringing his new girlfriend home.

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The Birds and the Biederman

60%
February 5, 201430m
3x4

When Dallas sees George at the dog park, she recruits Dalia to negotiate her territory in Chatswin, while Tessa has to represent George’s interests. Tessa notices that Lisa is spending a lot of time with Ryan’s girlfriend, June, and Fred is worried that Sheila is distancing herself.

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Blame It on the Rain Stick

60%
February 26, 201430m
3x5

When Noah is released from a court mandated anger management program, George is shocked to find a docile Noah has replaced his former hot-headed friend. Shaken by the change, George decides to put the new Noah to the test. Meanwhile, Tessa ditches “senior tanning” and meets a cool new age band hanging out at the park. The free spirited music group isn’t exactly what they appear

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About a Boy-Yoi-Yoing

70%
March 5, 201430m
3x6

When George becomes enamored with Chatswin’s latest hotspot…a juice bar, Tessa reminds him of their pact to not get sucked into Chatswin culture. This inspires George and Fred to take a trip to New York, which doesn’t turn out the way George had planned. Meanwhile, Tessa is pressured into attending Evan’s birthday party and reveals what she really thinks of him.

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I'm Just Not That Into Me

100%
March 12, 201430m
3x7

When Tessa drags Malik and Lisa to a college party, she meets a male version of herself and becomes enamored. They see eye-to-eye on everything and it's almost the perfect relationship. Meanwhile, Dallas enlists a matchmaker to set her and Dalia up, but the matchmaker convinces Dallas to date herself and she decides to get back to basics with a new look.

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Catch and Release

80%
March 26, 201430m
3x8

When Lisa decides to propose to Malik, Tessa isn’t sure how to support her friend and turns to George for advice. After Lisa’s proposal doesn’t go as planned, Tessa steps up and is inspired to fight for Ryan. Meanwhile, George believes his girlfriend Nora might be rude to her employees

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The Ballad of Piggy Duckworth

70%
April 2, 201430m
3x9

When Dallas’s mother passes away, she recruits Tessa to take a trip to the South with her to attend the funeral. During the trip, Dallas confronts her rivalry with her sister and her feelings toward her mother. Meanwhile, George, Noah and Fred go on a grouper that results in a stalker for Fred

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No, You Can't Sit With Us

60%
April 23, 201430m
3x10

Tessa decides to mentor young social outcast in the Miss Chatswin pageant to make a statement; Victor goes missing while on a camping trip with George, Noah and Fred.

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Dalia Nicole Smith

70%
April 30, 201430m
3x11

When Dalia is rejected from the only college she applied to, Dallas is determined to help her daughter find her calling; George and Tessa go on a double date.

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Les Lucioles

60%
May 7, 201430m
3x12

Tessa struggles with the budget while planning Lisa and Malik's wedding; June warns Tessa to stay away from Ryan; Malik turns to George when his family decides to boycott the wedding; Sheila gives Lisa advice.

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Stiiiiiiill Horny

40%
Season Finale
May 14, 201430m
3x13

When Tessa joins a knitting circle, the age of her new friends surprises George; George writes a song dedicated to his muse; Malik and Lisa bicker.

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