When an etiquette columnist is told to adapt to the modern and sexy style of his magazine, he turns to his former high-school bully for balance.

Bert instructs Andrew on how to enjoy a one-night fling without getting too attached emotionally, while Diane agrees to prep Mike for his green-card interview.

When Andrew refuses to make a move on his attractive new assistant, Bert teaches him a lesson by going out with her.

When Andrew is left picking up Jerry's slack at work, he asks Bert to come on board to serve as his new life coach, but quickly realizes he might have made a serious mistake.