Season Cast 13

  1. David Walliams

    David Walliams

    Various (9 Episodes)

  2. Matt Lucas

    Matt Lucas

    Various (9 Episodes)

  3. Tom Baker

    Tom Baker

    Narrator (9 Episodes)

  4. Paul Putner

    Paul Putner

    Various (9 Episodes)

  5. Anthony Stewart Head
  6. Ruth Jones

    Ruth Jones

    Myfanwy (9 Episodes)

  7. Joann Condon

    Joann Condon

    Fat Pat (9 Episodes)

  8. Charu Bala Chokshi

    Meera (9 Episodes)

  9. Mark Gatiss

    Mark Gatiss

    (1 Episode)

  10. Philip Jackson

    Philip Jackson

    (1 Episode)

  11. Joseph Long

    Joseph Long

    (1 Episode)

  12. Amanda Root

    Amanda Root

    (1 Episode)

  13. David Soul

    David Soul

    (1 Episode)

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Season Crew 5

Directing

  1. Steve Bendelack

    Steve Bendelack

    Director (8 Episodes)

Production

  1. Myfanwy Moore

    Executive Producer (9 Episodes), Producer (9 Episodes)

  2. Geoff Posner

    Producer (9 Episodes)

Writing

  1. Matt Lucas

    Matt Lucas

    Writer (8 Episodes)

  2. David Walliams

    David Walliams

    Writer (8 Episodes)

Show

Episodes 9

February 9, 2003

Pilot episode

Vicky Pollard is caught hiding pick 'n' mix sweets inside her trousers at a supermarket. Dafydd comes out to his parents, but his mother's reaction is not quite what he expects.

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September 16, 2003

• Vicky is in trouble with her teacher for not handing in her essay.

• Sebastian is jealous of the new Treasury aide.

• Emily Howard goes to a pub.

• Andy insists Lou takes him to the opera.

• Children of Kelsey Grammer School take it in turns to read a novel.

• Gary introduces Jason to his family.

• The pianist wonders if he's still got the plastic bag he brought with him.

• Kenny Craig takes a date to a Chinese restaurant.

• Jeremy Rent has a part for Dennis Waterman in a play of Macbeth.

• At Fat Fighters the buzz word for the day is 'Cravings'!

• Ray McCooney is asked how he makes his soup.

• Lou takes Andy to the swimming pool.

• Daffyd Thomas' 'only gay' title is challenged by Old Ma Evans' new lodger.

• Vicky's done her essay.

• Two Minstrels, listen to anti-minstrel politician.

• World Record Attempt - Most Beans in a Bath.

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2
0.0

Tallest Man

September 23, 2003

• Daffyd realises his exclusive copy of the Gay Times has been sold and demands to know who too.

• Lou is taking Andy out for dinner. Andy wants to go dressed as a Smurf, against Lou's better judgement.

• Vicky is accused of pushing a young girl into a swimming pool.

• At Kelsey Grammer school the boys are preparing to take a test.

• Dr Lawrence is in his office informing an inspector how the Steven Spielberg institute is run.

• Sebastian walks in while the PM is changing and pounces on him, claiming there's a sniper at the window.

• Back at the institute Dr Lawrence is showing the inspector how Anne likes to look after the garden.

• Back at Kelsey Grammer School the test continues while the teacher does a bit of vacuuming.

• Lou is installing handle bars next to Andy's toilet so he can pull himself onto it when Lou isn't there.

• Dame Sally Markham finishes 'The Lady in White' but it's only seventy-six pages long.

• David Soul is asked to visit a sick child in hospital.

• Marjorie defends Fat Fighters against an 'anonymous' tip off that the whole thing is just a scam.

• Dr. Lawrence continues his tour in the canteen where Ann is doing her best to ruin their meals.

• Jason performs the Heimlich manoeuvre on Gary's Nan... or at least we think that's what it was.

• Back at school, the pupils battle through their test as the teacher sets off three fireworks in the classroom.

• Clive is hoping his wife Liz will be quiet about her past claim to fame while they're at a restauant.

• Les McKeown performs some songs for the sick child and her parents.

• A retired police officer starts teaching driving lessons while still wearing his uniform.

• The record attempters are attempting the world record for tallest man.

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September 30, 2003

• Sebastian reviews the PMs bad press after a recent bi-election.

• Vicky's in a pub trying to buy alcoholic drinks for herself and her mates.

• Lou's taken Andy to the seaside and is trying to buy him an ice cream.

• At Kelsey Grammer school a pupil called 'Thorpe' has been moved down a year.

• Kenny Craig is playing Scrabble with his Mum at the hospital.

• The two Black-and-White Minstrels are trying to find accomadation.

• After an informative debate about the fat content of dust, Marjorie introduces the group to her sister Barbara.

• Back at Kelsey Grammer, there's new addition to the class. from the seventeenth century.

• The Pianist stops his performance to check the time Sainsbury's supermarket shuts.

• Daffyd's bored as he believes there's no social activities for gay people. Myfanwy proves him wrong.

• Lou takes Andy to the video shop.

• Emily Howard is renting out a room.

• Sir Bernard Chumley greets an aspiring young actor - Joe.

• Ray McCooney has a very satisfied customer... well he was.

• Kelsey Grammer school has another new boy... here boy! Fetch!

• Dame Sally tries to finish off a book by extending words of quotes by several letters.

• Denver Mills has been booked to promote Hug-a-Leper week.

• World Record Attempters attempt to eat the most hard boiled eggs.

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October 7, 2003

• Daffyd goes to get a hair cut but his usual Hair Dresser is off.

• Emily Florence is having an X-Ray.

• Lou is about to take Andy home from the pub, Andy insists that he doesn't need to go to the toilet first.

• Dr Lawrence shows, Dr Beagrie how Anne fits perfectly into the job of Librarian.

• Vicky Pollard's in court charged with shoplifting.

• Matthew Waterhouse has a multitude of ideas for a kiss-a-gram agency.

• At Kelsey Grammer school, the teacher asks the pupils some hard maths/history questions.

• Sandra Patterson enters her son Ralph into an audition for a commercial.

• Back at the library, Anne 'processes' a book.

• Des Kaye is stopped from selling his videos and attacking a customer with a crocodile puppet.

• Anne's finished her shift at the library.

• Royal correspondant Peter Andre is sacked from the BBC.

• Lou offers Andy a chocolate.

• At the opera, a man suffers a heart attack. Luckily April and Neville are on hand.

• Ray has some rather fussy American tourists, who keep asking questions, not a good idea when Ray McCooney's concerned.

• Miss Grace is shocked that Dame Sally is actually dictating a story that could actually sell.

• Dennis Waterman seems to have gotten over his 'Write the theme tune, sing the theme tune' stage and actually signs a contract.

• Liz is pushed out of the lime light by a stranger who claims he went to school with Paul McCartney.

• The world record attempters are attempting the most cigarettes smoked at once.

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October 14, 2003

• Vicky Pollard is summoned to the governess' office for biting Jackie Hayes.

• Andy insists Lou buys him a snake.

• The Prime Minister holds a politcal press conference with some unusual people.

• Marjorie expresses her views on liposuction.

• Samantha asks Edward how much he loves her... and gets a very detailed answer.

• At Kelsey Grammer School a young boy has an interview with a new Robot careers advisor.

• Lou takes Andy to the Library.

• As things start to look romantic, Edward asks Samantha to draw the curtains...

• Bernard gets meals on wheels for sister Kitty.

• Peter Andre tries to sneak into a royal garden party.

• Kenny Craig sells videos at a car boot sale.

• Matthew Waterhouse tries to impress a leading theatrical producer

• Daffyd visits the Llandewi Breffi Sexual Health Clinic.

• Denver Mills stands in for Fatima Whitbread at a school.

• Lou takes Andy up many hospital stairs.

• Eilene is comforting her bereaved sister Janet.

• At DIY universe, The new boy Kieran unwittingly asks Des Kaye about the Bubble Twins.

• World Record Attempt for a House of Cards.

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6
0.0

Smallest Ant

October 20, 2003

• The Prime Minister is having a meeting with the Chancellor of the Exchequer.

• ITV have want Dennis Waterman to reprise all his roles from Minder.

• In Darkly Noone, Dr Alban diagnoses Vicky as being eight months pregnant.

• At the Annual Police Federation Dinner, Denver Mills has been booked to give an after-dinner speech.

• Lou's taken Andy to the newsagent to pick out a birthday card for his brother Declan.

• Marjorie bumps into Paul and Meera at the supermarket.

• Ray's got the TV Repair man in and tries to give the most crpyitcal explanation of what happened.

• Dr Lawrence has taken Anne home with him.

• Des Kaye bumps into his former boss Robin Dee and Dicky Bubble.

• Lou and Andy look at holiday destinations, Andy insists he wants to go to Helsinki.

• At Kelsey Grammer school, Mr Cleeves reads out some messages.

• Sandra and Ralph Patterson break into the offices of the Royal Shakespeare company.

• Back at Dr Lawrence's home Anne has some creative uses for egg and tuna sandwiches.

• The pianist stops playing when he realises he's forgotten to set his video recorder to tape Room 101.

• Dame Sally adlibs a plot involving a character reciting the entire Bible.

• Matthew Waterhouse gatecrashes a board room meeting with a trolley full of ideas for breakfast cereals.

• It's Maria's funeral, Lou's being as gentle as he can with Andy.

• In a charity shop a lady is asking the store owners if anyone died in various items of colthing.

• Dr Lawrence and the children are playing outside and Anne's busy throwing objects out of an upstairs window.

• Emily Howard's at the seaside having a hard time convincing various people he's a lady.

• The World Record Attempters exhibit the world's smallest ant.

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October 28, 2003

• Vicky Pollard gets a visit from a social worker.

• At Fat Fighters Marjorie and Paul try to forget the night before.

• Lou paints Andy's bedroom red.

• Daffyd's gay night is a success.

• Sir Bernard's sister kitty is dead, well maybe.

• New term at Kelsy Grammar school.

• Ralph Patterson auditions for Bugsy Malone.

• PM and Sebastian discuss the Party Conference speech.

• Jason and Gary visit Gary's Nan, there is then toe sucking.

• World record attempters make largest mince pie.

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November 4, 2003

• Emily Howard helps to fix an ice cream van.

• Daffyd discovers Myfanwy's Lesbonic secret.

• Vicky Pollard gives a speech to her ex-school mates.

• Lou and Andy have a bonfire.

• Boris babysits.

• Kelsey Grammer School have a crips exam.

• At Ye Olde Hotel Ray's tax payments are overdue.

• Dame Sally gets to Miss Grace type the Radio.

• At Fat Fighters, Mrs Harrison from Head Office attends and Marjorie is sacked.

• Concert pianist stops to read a text message.

• Michael meets the Italian Prime Minister.

• World Record Attempters go for Most people in a Mini.

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