When Denise goes away for the weekend, she gives Craig a promise ring which he ends up losing after a wild, drunken night at a strip club with Alex and Sammy, who hatch a plan to keep Denise from killing Craig while they search for the ring.

When the team's lackluster play leads to a team curfew leading up to the Mountain Goats' biggest game of the season, Thad's prized pocket p***y gets passed around from teammate to teammate leading to an outbreak of syphilis.

Leading up to a rivalry game against Overland University, the Mountain Goats' starting quarterback is suspended, Alex is named the starter and Sammy is accidentally kidnapped along with Billy the Goat as part of a prank by Overland.