Welcome to Bikini Bottom Inquirer where investigative thrills are packed to the gills! I'm your host Perch Perkins with the latest local news! Here's today's rundown:

Intro + Top Stories

Community Poll: Most Handsome Man in Bikini Bottom

NEWSFLASH: Beware of These Pranks

Local Fry Cook and Unemployed Starfish's Bare Brawl

Talking Squirrel Seen Flying a Rocket

Ghosts in Bikini Bottom

Perch Phone: Squilliam Fancyson, Bubble Bass, and DoodleBob

The Lurch Report: Exclusive Interview with a Ghost

BREAKING NEWS: The Krusty Krab is Haunted

Community Poll Results + Outro

Welcome to Bikini Bottom Inquirer where investigative thrills are packed to the gills! I'm your host Perch Perkins with the latest local news! Here's today's rundown:

Intro + Top Stories

Prom Expert or Prom Failure?

Meet DummyBob

The Lurch Report: Indoor Flash Flood Warning!

Now Available: Arm Shrinking Spray

#TheSpongeChallenge Dance Trend

Perch Phone: Community Responds to #TheSpongeChallenge

Outro + Stinger

Did SpongeBob's careless treatment of his pet snail really cause an explosion? How did a ROCK win a race? I'm your host Perch Perkins with the latest local news! Here's today's rundown:

Intro

Top Stories + Traffic Report From...a Rock?

Community Poll: Who's the Grumpiest in Bikini Bottom?

Perch Phone: Squilliam Fancyson Calls In

Who's Ready? The Answer May Surprise You

Bikini Bottom's Best Looks

Exercise Tips From SplashSplash

Definitely-Not-Disgusting Smoothie Recipe

Snail EXPLODES at Great Snail Race

The Lurch Report ft. "Lightning" Larry Luciano

Harold Reflects on Failed Torch Lighting

Rock Wins Snail Race in Upset Victory

Poll Results: Bikini Bottom's Grumpiest + Outro

A so-called "imaginary" disaster has hit Bikini Bottom, but should you actually be worried? What are the new Crazy Goggles doing to Patrick's eyes? I'm your host Perch Perkins with the latest local news! Here's today's rundown:

Intro + Top Stories with Lurch Lerkins?

Crazy Googles RECALLED

Drawing Conclusions w/ Intern DoodleBob

Trend Alert: Boxes! Just Boxes.

Perch Phone: Smitty Werbenjagermanjensen

"Imaginary" Disaster Strikes Bikini Bottom!

Outro

Can a bubble person be dangerous? What's happening with the health inspector at the Krusty Krab? And can water exist underwater? I’m your host Perch Perkins with the latest local news!

Here’s today’s rundown:

Today's Top Stories

The Potty Report: Goo Lagoon to Loo Lagoon

Scooter (the Fish) Buried Alive

Hibernation Season Comes to Bikini Bottom

Krusty Krab Found With Health Code Violations

Bubble Buddy: Friend or Foe?

Tonight we get an exclusive look at the worm-faced monster that's been terrorizing Bikini Bottom, an exposé on the Krusty Krabs new "secret" ingredient, and open up some fan mail! I’m your host Perch Perkins with the latest local news.

Here’s today’s rundown:

Today's Top Stories

Sponsored by Stinky Pits

SpongeBob Opens His Pores (to Condo Rentals)

Party Worms Become Party Animals

Krusty Krab Cooks with Garbage?

Perch Phone: Bubble Bass Calls in

SpongeBob WormFace: "Can I Get a Hug?"

The Lurch Report: Live From 123 Conch St.

Exclusive Interview with Face Worm

Perch Reads "Fan" Letters

Outro + Stinger

Message mystery in Jellyfish Fields appears overnight without warning! Should you be scared? I'm Perch Perkins and these are today's top stories:

Meet Bikini Bottom Inquirer Intern DoodleBob

Top Stories of the Night

The Lurch Report: LIGHTNING STRIKES IN BIKINI BOTTOM!

Honorary Rookie of the Day Announced

Community Poll: Who Deserves to Be HRotD?

Krusty Krab Locking Customers Inside

Live Plankton Found in Bag of Jellybeans

Jellybean Corp. Sponsorship

Message Mystery in Jellyfish Fields

Poll Results + Outro Stinger

Could it be true? Has Bikini Bottom's number one fry cook been fired from The Krusty Krab? Plus, food is fighting back in Bikini Bottom! I'm Perch Perkins and here's the latest news from The Bikini Bottom Inquirer.