Tonight, actress Claire Danes promotes her new movie Evening. Jon begins again with tonight's "You Don't Know Dick" as we learn that Dick Cheney invented his own top secret fication stamp that he stamps documents with. In other Cheney news, Cheney once told Senator Patrick Leahy to go f*ck himself. Well today, Leahy got his revenge and sent a subpoena to the V.P. to obtain info on the administrations wiretap program. Next, Jon reports on the immigration bill that was resurrected only to be killed once again in a segment called "Mexican Standoff". Resident Expert John Hodgman reports on the debate over this bill, including footage of some media pundits who claim illegal aliens bring in disease and criminals into the U.S. Finally, the iPhone is coming out this Friday and Senior Technology Correspondent Rob Riggle will do anything to get his hands on one, including kicking over baby strollers.