Ever said anything that could be construed as racist? I haven't. Okay, I'm lying. I actually have. There was this one time I called my friend Jose a refried bean when I was mad at him for drinking the last chocolate milk, but I later apologized after he punched me in the neck. We're cool now. Okay. He doesn't always text me back, but other than that we're still pretty good friends. True story. Can we all just agree that you're a racist tho? Good. Glad we cleared that up.

This week, Booze Lightyear tackles what not to do as an Uber Driver. Collectively, we're not sure why anyone would take an Uber, when we could all be riding pterodactyls to work. In fact, wouldn't life be at least 32% better if we could all be like the Flintstones and ride a dinosaur to get places? No, not like the grumpy Jurassic Park dinosaurs; I mean like the fun cartoony ones that the residents of Bedrock used to use for their slave labor. Awwwww. Now that I'm talking about it, wouldn't life be better if I had a dino slave? :(