It's the 'Song for Albion' competition and Frank has entered a song by Blue Heaven. When he finds out that his dad has 'secretly fixed it so that all other acts are crap' he determines to win ... but he has reckoned without the replacement for Big Larry!

Frank has become obsessed with a woman who gets off the morning train but he is too shy to ask her out. It appears that the social security are obsessed with him too and so he pretends to be Napoleon Bonaparte in order to avoid being forced to take a job! But who is the mysterious Professor Wiseman who he needs to be convinced of his insanity?

"Dirty" Eddie Nichols is in town with his band and Frank is keen to see him. However, he's not the only one, his mother is also quite a fan too. To make things worse, Roache takes up an invitation to join Nichols' band when an accident lays low their keyboard player. Is this the end of Blue Heaven or will fate take a hand?

Frank has family problems - his father is on the warpath after being mysteriously signed up for an odour-eaters suit. His mother is celebrating her birthday and wants a decent present and, to top it all, he is mistaken for his brother Brian, a violent psychopath! Not too much to worry about until he takes a local nutter into the Footlights Café and the place is surrounded by police!

Frank has found a woman and this time he hasn't had to pay - so it must be love! When Paul, the most popular guy at his old school and now a tour manager, gets in touch he is once again trying to match up to his success. When he's promised a gig supporting David Bowie he thinks his time has come...