MacGruber (Forte) feels insecure when his assistant (Jonah Hill) says that he cannot do his job when he and Vicky (Wiig) need his bomb-defusing skills the most.

Only two segments aired. In the third segment (which is available on some video websites), Hader appears as MacGruber's life coach.

MacGruber and his son, Merrill (Shia LaBeouf), team up together. However, in the process of escaping, Merrill inadvertently confesses that he's gay (by showing anal lubricant, a vibrating dildo, and his boyfriend Scott (Samberg) showing up) leaving MacGruber to make him straight again by reciting Bible verses and forcing him to kiss Vicky (Wiig).

A man (Forte) with a strained voice discusses his life commanding a SWAT team and raising lambs for slaughter with an increasingly fascinated date (Megan Fox).

In another installment of An SNL Movie Trailer Re-Cut, the trailer for the disaster film 2012 is changed into a political horror about Sarah Palin's possible election as U.S. President that year.

A parody of the Dolly Parton song 9 to 5, throughout which Andy Samberg and episode host Paul Rudd stumble throughout the city. Musical guest Paul McCartney and celebrity chef Mario Batali appear in the short as well.

Samberg has some shots with none other than Pee Wee Herman (Paul Reubens). After beating Anderson Cooper (who appears as himself) over the head with a chair, Samberg and Pee-Wee are caught by the police, to which they escape by hitting the officer with a chair. When they return to Samberg's apartment, they come to an intervention with Cooper (bandaged up from being hit in the face with a chair by Pee-Wee and Samberg), Samberg's friends (Fred Armisen, Kristen Wiig, and Kenan Thompson), and Pee Wee's Playhouse friends Chairry, Pterri, and Conky, who plead with Andy and Pee-Wee never to be friends again. Andy and Pee-Wee reluctantly agree, and everybody celebrates the breakup with more shots.

Zach Galifianakis interviews young children as possible candidates for being his assistant.

Andy conducts several short and increasingly bizarre interviews with actor-singer Drake. Each segment follows a very literal theme as described by a title card (announced by Don Pardo) that appears onscreen before each interview. Some of the interviews included are: An Extremely Sarcastic Interview, A Racist Interview (which is cut short before Samberg can say anything racist), A Wordless Seduction, A Matching Sweaters Interview, and a Dark Interview.

In an early '80s-style instructional video, a nerdy man dressed like Carl Sagan (Samberg) shows viewers how to seduce women by playing chess, but the first two women (played by Nasim Pedrad and Abby Elliott) beat him. The instructor then changes the game to checkers and still gets beaten by a woman (Kristen Wiig). He tries Jenga, but ends up knocking the tower over. He tries eating glass, but ends up scaring the woman he's trying to seduce (played by special guest Olivia Wilde). The instructor (with his lips and mouth now bandaged up) gives up and lectures on how to hire a prostitute. The prostitute (played by episode host Jason Segel) offers sex to him for $5000, but the instructor only has $60. The instructor is stabbed and robbed of his money. Before dying, the prostitute comes back and beats him at chess.

Commissioner Gordon (Steve Buscemi) keeps getting stalked by Batman (Samberg). Paul Brittain and Kristen Wiig appears as Aquaman and the Riddler respectively.

Katy Perry and Samberg become best friends, then meet up with a "handsome drug addict" (Matt Damon) and "brilliant lunatic" (Val Kilmer) who want to be best friends too. Perry and Samberg become more and more frightened until Perry abandons the three when the drug addict shoots himself during a game of Russian roulette. The lunatic then builds a time machine, retrieving two cavemen, Marilyn Monroe (played by Nasim Pedrad), Amelia Earhart (played by Vanessa Bayer), Abraham Lincoln (played by John Solomon), and Julius Caesar from the past, who, along with Samberg, the lunatic, and the lunatic's "failed bird-man experiment" (who briefly left the duo to have sex with a white girl at the mall) wish the audience a merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

A man (Samberg) and woman (Wiig) dressed in '70s-style clothing declare their love for each other in song. As the camera pulls back we can see that they are connected by their shared enormous afro. An unexplained man in janitor's clothing (Kenan Thompson) appears in between every verse and plays one riff on a strange instrument such as conch shell or didgeridoo. When the camera has pulled all the way back, revealing the full, massive afro, the couple invites the viewer to come to their wedding, whereupon the video is revealed to be a Save the Date. RSVP options "Yes" and "No" appear. "No" is clicked.