After Peter heavily drinks at a bachelor party, even though he told Lois he would not, he gets fired from his job at the Happy-go-Lucky toy factory for being hung over. Peter soon applies for welfare, but after a mix-up, gets sent a check for $150,000. Eventually, Lois finds out, and Peter decides to return the money by dumping it from a blimp at the Super Bowl. He is arrested as a result, and his family ends up coming to his rescue.

Meg lands an internship working with the school nerd at a television station.

Peter decides to pursue his dream career as a knight.

When Peter decides to become a fisherman, he takes out a large loan to buy a fishing boat and unwittingly gives up everything he owns as collateral.

Lois' pregnant sister inspires her and Peter to have another baby.

Peter and Lois decide to go on a second honeymoon. But when Peter crashes the car, he decides to pose as Mel Gibson to stay in his fancy hotel suite, where they find a copy of a "The Passion of the Christ" sequel. They attempt to destroy the film and end up being chased by two priests who went to retrieve the film.

Brian becomes a substitute teacher at Chris' school after his teacher wins the lottery. When Brian is moved to teach a class of troubled kids, Chris falls in love with his new teacher, Mrs. Lockhart, who promises to love Chris only if he kills her husband. When Lois finds out, she and Stewie decide to teach Chris a lesson.

After Mort bowls a perfect game, and Quagmire gets a key to the city by performing CPR, Peter notices he has nothing to be proud of. He then attempts to achieve fame by setting the world's record for most nickels swallowed. However, a slight miscalculation leaves him blind with nickel poisoning.

When Meg gets turned down for a date, she asks her family for support. Lois ends up taking her to the mall, where she gets the ultimate makeover. Meanwhile, Peter tries to start a band with the guys, but when their first gig fails, the family ends up performing. Impressed by Meg's singing, a record producer signs the family, and their travels eventually land them on "Saturday Night Live."

When Peter hears Loretta scream, he tries to help out, but discovers Loretta is cheating on Cleveland. Peter figures out that it was Quagmire and decides to tell Cleveland about it. But when Loretta walks out on Cleveland he doesn't take it lightly.

After winning a game of Trivial Pursuit, Peter is convinced he is a genius. To prove Peter wrong, Brian suggests he take a test of the MacArthur Genius Grant. The test results say that Peter is technically mentally challenged. Peter has no problem abusing this handicap until Lois is injured and the kids are taken away because Peter is not mentally fit for parenting.

"The Bachelorette" comes to Quahog and Brian is chosen to be a contestant. Brian does not like the show, but participates just to have a vacation only to wind up falling in love with the bachelorette. Meanwhile, Chris gets a nasty pimple on his cheek, which talks to Chris and likes to cause mischief.

Peter runs up his tab at Mort’s Pharmacy. When he doesn’t have the money to pay, he decides to sell Meg to the Goldmans. Neil is dating another girl which makes Meg jealous, and Stewie falls in love with Liddane, his new babysitter.

Lois’ kleptomania lands her in jail, leaving the Griffin household in a worse state of disarray than usual. Peter and the family break her out and end up fugitives in Asian Town.

Lois fulfills a lifelong dream of being a model. Stewie starts on a multi-level marketing company. Brian in need of cash to buy his de-worming medication agrees to become his salesman.

Peter and Brian’s friendship becomes strained after Brian begins dating one of Meg’s high school teachers. Peter finds a replacement friend in James Woods, who is visiting Quahog because of a suggestion to rename James Woods High after Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

When Peter and the guys decide to go fishing, they end up caught in a storm. Stranded on a desert island, their families fear the worst. Rescued by a cruise ship months later, Peter surprises Lois at home, where he finds out that she has a new husband.

When Chris is supposed to be hazed for a school tradition, he runs off to South America; Peter quickly becomes frustrated by his new job at the beer factory.

After a “wardrobe malfunction” occurs during a live broadcast, the FCC begins to censor all of Peter’s favorite shows. As a result, Peter creates his own station, PTV, which broadcasts from the Griffin home. Peter and Brian create their own edgy programming until the FCC shows up to shut down PTV and censor all controversial material in Quahog.

After writing a story for a local magazine, Brian gets a job at The New Yorker.

Lois thinks Stewie is trying to kill her due to his lack of quality time with his father, so she orders Peter to spend more time with Stewie. Meanwhile Chris starts a friendship with Herbert.

Lois discovers she has a brother named Patrick and takes the family cross-country to meet him. It turns out; he’s locked up in a mental institution. Lois thinks he’s sane, so she checks him out to live with the Griffins. Meanwhile, Peter starts the Society for the Acceptance of Fat Men. But when all the fat men of Quahog are strangled one-by-one the group lives in fear. Who could the “Fat Man Strangler” be?

When Peter’s dad comes to visit, he tries to impose his religious beliefs on the family. But after a mix-up with the holy-water leaves Stewie in a bubble, Peter decides to form a church worshiping his hero, the Fonz.

After Brian has a near-death experience in the hospital, he decides to lead a new life. He ends up getting a nightly singing gig with Frank Sinatra Jr., but his new lifestyle doesn't last very long. Meanwhile, Meg, after joining a new after-school group, pretends to be a lesbian.

At his high school reunion, Peter tries to impress his fellow classmates. When Peter, heading for the bathroom, charges through the crowd of people, impresses quarterback Tom Brady, who offers Peter a spot on the New England Patriots. Meanwhile, Brian owes Stewie money, after Stewie becomes a sports bookie.

When Peter wins a maid for a week as a prize on a game show, Quagmire gains an interest in her, and they eventually marry. Quagmire, stricken with his bachelor ways, tries to get out of the marriage. Meanwhile, Lois stops breast-feeding Stewie, who, as a result, goes through withdrawals.

Peter gets a vasectomy and loses all his sex drive. Lois begins to gain weight, and as a result, Peter's regains his interest in his wife. When Lois' habits get out of control, she has a heart attack. The surgeon must remove Lois' fat to reach her heart, returning her to her normal weight. Meanwhile, Stewie's half-brother Bertram returns to confront him, where they have a war for control over the playground.

Meg becomes an intern for Mayor West. Brian, who is sure that the mayor is corrupt, tries to out him. Brian and Stewie, while undercover, discover that Meg is more than just an intern. Meanwhile, Peter and Lois go back to their folk singing days at a local talent show. When they begin using drugs, Chris stages an intervention.

After reading an erotic novel, Peter gets the idea to write one himself. Carter gets sued for publishing Peter's book on tape and loses all his money, where he is forced to become a middle-class citizen. Meanwhile, Stewie tries to train for the Olympics.

Brian's gay cousin Jasper visits the Griffin house and announces that he is engaged to his partner and wants to be married at their house. When Mayor West bans gay marriage in an effort to cover up and bring attention away from a scandal of his own, Brian resorts to hostile actions to try to change the Mayor's mind. Lois and Peter question their view towards gay marriage while Chris joins the "Young Republicans" Club to impress a girl.

Peter wants to top Joe, who just built a new home theater system, so he starts to build a multiplex in his backyard. In doing so, he discovers an Indian burial ground. He finds an Indian chief's skull and the Griffin house becomes haunted. Stewie gets sucked into the television and strange events follow as they try to get Stewie back from the poltergeist.

When burglars break into the house, the Griffins take cover in the attic where they discover Peter has built a 'panic room'. They go in it, and Peter tells them about his history. They send Meg for food but the burglars catch her. The rest of the Griffins stay behind and Peter accidentally floods the room and they're going to drown. Luckily Joe gets them out and we find out Meg has been accused of sexual harassment by the burglars.

After losing at a swim competition, Stewie trys to eliminate his rival by blowing up a lifeguard tower. His plan backfires though, and Stewie has a near death experience that seems to change him.

Stewie convinces Brian to go on a road trip with him to San Francisco to search for a man Stewie believes is his real father.

Stewie finds out that his life in the future is miserable. So he decides to go back in time and change events for the better.

Stewie becomes obsessed with Lois, after she saves Rupert. Though Lois doesn't take to the new Stewie all too well. Meanwhile, Peter thinks his doctor is molesting him, when he undergoes a prostate exam.

Peter's mom gets a divorce. Peter feels abandoned until he sees a father figure in his mom's new boyfriend, Tom Tucker. Meanwhile, Brian gets his own NPR style show on the radio.

After Peter uses Meg's money to buy himself a tank, she gets a job at the new Superstore in town. However, the Superstore puts all the shops in town out of business and sucks up the city's power supply. Brian and Stewie team up to save the town from the corporate giant.

When Peter gets hurt and can't work, his boss tells him he needs to speed things up. So Lois goes to the brewery to help him out. Meanwhile, Stewie finds out that Brian is dating a very attractive but not very intelligent woman. He tries to get Brian to break up with her, but Brian can't do it.

Stewie ties the knot with his old flame Olivia, but their relationship quickly turns, and becomes normal dull marriage. It all escalates when they go on a double date with Brian and Jillian. Meanwhile, Lois introduces Peter to chick flicks, so he decides to make his own movie with a plot based on every chick movie ever.

Meg can't find a date to her junior prom, and even though he is dating Jillian, Brian ends up going with Meg. At the prom, Brian gets drunk to make the night pass, but ends up making out with Meg. Meg begins to think of Brian as her boyfriend and becomes obsessed with spending every moment with him. Meanwhile, Peter, Cleveland and Quagmire join the police force to help Brian.

Brian sells Rupert at a garage sale. Stewie, who is upset with Brian, takes him cross country to Colorado to find his beloved teddy, and ends up having a ski-off to win back Rupert. Meanwhile, Peter loses his license, so Meg has to drive him around.

When Peter re-discovers his love for the painfully annoying yet seductively catchy tune "Surfin' Bird," Brian and Stewie decide to take matters into their own hands to ensure that the song will never be heard again! On the verge of tears, Peter goes to every record store in Quahog to track down his beloved jingle, and he runs into a familiar face and ends up hanging out with Jesus Christ.

When Lois finds a lump on her breast, she goes to the doctor to test for cancer. The tests come back benign, but the doctor looks at her family medical history and reveals some news about Lois' heritage.

Peter retells the story of Return of the Jedi.

Brian and Stewie travel back in time to the pilot episode of FAMILY GUY to change history, and then to change history again.

It’s winter in Quahog, and Lois’ parents take Stewie away on a trip. But when Carter falls asleep at the wheel, the family decides it might be time for him to retire. Peter and Lois take the clan to Florida to check out some fine retirement communities, but Carter refuses to go down without a fight.

In a special hour-long crossover with The Simpsons, the Griffins meet the Simpson family when they end up in Springfield after their car is stolen. Stewie takes lessons in pranks and skateboarding from Bart, while Lisa discovers - to her annoyance - that Meg is as good at playing the saxophone as she is. Peter bonds with Homer as they locate the missing car, but then they fight after Peter loses his job when Pawtucket Patriot is revealed to be a copy of Duff Beer.

Tired of not winning an Emmy, Peter embarks on his own For Your Consideration campaign for Family Guy by making the show more like Emmy-winning shows - and no category is off limits.

The guys regale each other with stories of youthful athletic accomplishments. Cleveland was a teenage baseball player from Cuba, Quagmire was a bad boy tennis superstar from New York and Peter was an underdog boxer from Philadelphia.