Tanya Calderon — Production Manager

Episodes 71

September 11, 2005

Stan finds Deputy Director Bullock, his supervisor, starting a relationship with Hayley. However, he can't risk saying or doing anything about it because he's up for a promotion at the CIA. Meanwhile, Steve finds Dick Cheney's BlackBerry and uses the contact numbers to play pranks on political figures from around the world.

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September 18, 2005

When Steve brings home a permission slip to take sex ed at school, Stan flips out and demands to teach it himself. However, after Stan unrealistically explains the birds and the bees to Steve, he gets into an accident that causes him to take matters into his own hands. Meanwhile, Roger becomes a bartender in hopes of making something of himself.

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0.0

All About Steve

2x3
September 25, 2005

When the CIA organizes a father-son baseball game, Stan is determined to show his co-workers that his son is masculine and athletic. Unfortunately, Steve is a geek, so Stan decides to lie and ditches him. But after getting a taste of his own treatment at work, Stan turns to Steve and his sci-fi knowledge to help capture a cyber-terrorist. Meanwhile, Roger goes incognito in a desperate attempt to interact with humans.

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0.0

Con Heir

2x4
October 2, 2005

When Stan's father passes away, Stan reveals his real father is actually Jack Smith, a super suave spy. Jack convinces Stan to quit the CIA and work with him at the Scarlet Alliance, an ultra-secret spy group. Francine is upset with Stan, who is busy training with Jack for a mission involving uranium, artwork and terrorists. But when the FBI shows up at the Smiths' house looking for an international jewel thief, Francine suspects Jack is the fake.

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November 6, 2005

Stan has to throw a party for his boss and assumes his wife Francine will do all the work, but she refuses. With Stan as party planner, the event turns into a disaster. As a result, Stan's boss relocates Stan and his family to Saudi Arabia, where they quickly get a taste of life on foreign ground. As American and Arabian social norms clash, gender wars heat up.

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November 13, 2005

As the Smiths continue to live in Saudi Arabia, Stan is fully enjoying the male-dominated society, while the rest of the family struggles with the different social norms. Meanwhile, Francine's musical expos on gender roles gets her into trouble, and a brush with death leads the Smiths to return to the United States.

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November 20, 2005

Francine insists that Stan and Hayley spend an entire day together, after their arguments drive her crazy, so they can work out their differences about gun control. However, her plan backfires when he takes Hayley to the "National Gun Association Land," where their conflicting opinions about gun control drive them even further apart. Back home, Roger schemes to get revenge on Steve for eating one of his cookies by convincing him that he's adopted.

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0.0

Star Trek

2x8
November 27, 2005

Steve becomes a famous author, and the entire family gets caught up in his celebrity, including Stan, who becomes an unbearable "stage parent." After Steve hooks up with an agent, he abandons his family to lead a "Cribs" lifestyle.

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December 18, 2005

As Stan continues to dominate the household, Francine finds herself idolizing a group of women who seem to have it all. She tries to impress them and even lies in order to gain acceptance into their group, until she realizes they aren't as perfect as they seem. Meanwhile, loyalties are tested when Stan gets a new best friend.

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0.0

Rough Trade

2x10
January 8, 2006

After Stan and Roger have a rough day, they get into a fight that leads to a "Freaky Friday"-type switcheroo where they get a taste of life in each other's shoes. But after the excitement of a new life stales, they face each other's problems as Roger is under pressure at work and Stan yearns to be needed. The swap gets out of hand as the family starts to crumble.

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January 29, 2006

After receiving a hefty bonus from work, Stan buys extravagant gadgets while Francine pleads for her dream kiosk. Upset about his lack of support, Francine opens a muffin shop without his approval and gives Stan a taste of life without a housewife. In a desperate move, Stan puts Klaus' brain back into a human body – only to discover it was a huge mistake as Klaus tries to win over Francine. Meanwhile, Steve is convinced he's a teen wolf after watching a horror film.

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February 26, 2006

Because of a past incident at his own prom, where he was lured into a dance with the homecoming queen only to have a pile of pigs dropped on him, Stan wants revenge by showing off that he married a homecoming queen, Francine. A proud Stan accompanies Francine to her reunion, but when they find out that two ballots were lost and that Francine didn’t actually win the crown, Stan is devastated. Meanwhile, a dejected Steve is “saved” by a pizza delivery man with a Messianic message.

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0.0

Roger 'n Me

2x13
April 23, 2006

When Stan goes to Atlantic City for a bachelor party and is shunned by his so-called best friend, Roger steps in and becomes Stan's new sidekick. Their friendship goes to a whole new level, but when they return home and face Francine, Stan realizes that what happens in Atlantic City doesn't necessarily stay there. Meanwhile, Hayley and Steve team up to break up a good-looking couple.

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0.0

Helping Handis

2x14
April 30, 2006

Stan wants Steve to be popular and goes to desperate measures giving him steroids to make him bigger, better, and part of the in-crowd at school. But when the steroids have an unexpected side effect, Steve gets a lot more attention than anyone expected. Meanwhile, after Hayley makes a movie about Francine's life as a housewife, Francine is determined to start a new career as a doctor.

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May 7, 2006

After Steve shows a lack of interest in Stan's job, Stan replaces him with Barry, Steve's malicious friend. Barry frames Steve to eliminate him from the household, but when Steve discovers Barry's weakness, he relies on his CIA skills to save the family. Meanwhile, Roger takes an impressive keg-stand and uses it to become a fraternity brother.

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May 14, 2006

When Francine's birthday brings back haunting memories of a celebrity film moment stolen by George Clooney, Francine's new dream is to destroy the star. But when she tries to win Clooney's heart with the intention of breaking it, Stan actually falls for him and sabotages the plan. Meanwhile, back at home, Roger builds a vineyard and starts up a private sweat shop of foster children.

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7.0

Camp Refoogee

3x1
September 10, 2006

When Stan tries to trick Steve into attending summer camp, things go horribly wrong and Steve ends up in a refugee camp. However, Stan, being the eternal optimist, joins Steve and manages to stage a camp Olympics between the refugees and the rebel faction living across the river.

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September 17, 2006

Stan realizes his own weight problem after he criticizes Steve about his new, overweight girlfriend, so he goes overboard with exercising, and develops anorexia. Steve realizes that his overweight girlfriend is the root of his father's problems, and he has to make a hard choice in an effort to save his father's life.

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September 24, 2006

Stan loses his confidence, and his job, when a car salesman gets the best of him in a negotiation. Meanwhile, Roger and Steve set up a makeshift drive-in to try to get to first base with popular schoolgirls.

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0.0

Lincoln Lover

3x4
November 5, 2006

Stan has his heart set on speaking at the Republican National Convention on behalf of the Langley chapter, but when they pass him up for another candidate, he accepts the only endorsement he gets from the local chapter of Gay Republicans. While the people around him disapprove of his new lifestyle choice, Stan decides to follow his heart to speak on their behalf.

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November 12, 2006

After Francine tells Stan she's looking for excitement in their marriage, Stan gets in the driver's seat and becomes involved in drag racing to spice things up. Meanwhile, Hayley breaks up with her boyfriend, Jeff, who is emotionally crushed until he joins Steve's world of online gaming. When Hayley finds out, she tries to sabotage their fun.

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November 19, 2006

When Steve's new relationship with his girlfriend gives Francine empty nest syndrome, she tries to convince Stan to have another baby. Meanwhile, Roger tries to enroll in college with Haley in order to experience college life, but while Roger ends up teaching the class, Haley finds a new crush in her classmate Ethan (Elijah Woods), who turns out to be far from normal.

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0.0

Of Ice and Men

3x7
November 26, 2006

When Francine discovers Stan's secret, decades-old passion for competitive figure skating, she decides to be supportive and becomes his pairs partner until Stan's competitive nature gets the best of him and he ditches her for a new partner. Meanwhile, Steve's classmate Snot finds new respect among his peers when he parades his mail-order bride around the playground.

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December 10, 2006

When Roger helps Steve see that his father isn't as smart as he always believed, the power-hungry pair set their sights on fame and fortune in New York City. It doesn't take long for Roger to lose everything on Wall Street, and Steve contemplates prostitution after Jon Stewart shoots down his comedy routine. Meanwhile, the rest of the family is certain that the two have just run away to the tree house, so when it explodes in a lightning storm, they are devastated, but console themselves with Steve's college fund.

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December 17, 2006

When an injunction prevents Langley Falls from lighting their annual Christmas tree, Stan blames secular non-believers for ruining his favorite holiday. With Stan's holiday spirit at an all-time low, the Ghost of Christmas Past visits him and tries to show him the true meaning of Christmas. However, Stan is convinced that Christmas can be saved by changing the outcome of Vietnam, but finds that changing the past only dramatically changes the future.

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January 7, 2007

When Stan enters an essay contest to have his personal hero, President Bush, come over for dinner, he is overcome with joy when the President arrives at his doorstep. However, not everyone in the Smith family shares Stan's excitement. Hayley tries to drill President Bush on the Iraq war, and Steve and Roger attempt to convince him that they've found Osama Bin Laden, but instead get him drunk. Stan tries to save the President from public humiliation, while Hayley revels in his fall from glory.

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January 28, 2007

When Stan feels like he's not climbing the ladder fast enough at work, he turns to his lifelong ambition of making festive teddy bears. However, when he realizes that making a quick profit takes a lot of work, he resorts to using illegal aliens as cheap labor. Meanwhile, Hayley sees her father's new business model as an atrocity and takes matters into her own hands by calling Uncle Sam.

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February 11, 2007

When Roger is rejected by Steve, who seems to be over him, Roger heads out in search of a new human companion. But when this new friend starts to abuse Roger and the relationship turns into a lot of excuses and sorry's, Steve and Hayley scheme to get Roger out of the bad relationship and back home where he belongs. Meanwhile, Stan tours the Mr. Pibb factory and meets the man himself.

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February 18, 2007

While researching a paper about George Washington Carver in celebration of Black History Month, Steve uncovers a conspiracy that's been going on since the Civil War. When the curator of the Smithsonian Peanut Museum reaches out to tell Steve the truth, he's mysteriously murdered, and Steve and Stan are tracked by a secret society that will stop at nothing to keep this scandalous secret of American history.

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March 25, 2007

Stan arrives late to a CIA nuclear drill and thinks it's real. He decides to move the family into the mountains to survive the apocalypse. Even though he realizes his error, he begins to enjoy the attention that he gets from the family so much that he doesn't tell them the truth. However, when the family meets a mountain man and learns the truth, Stan has some explaining to do.

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April 1, 2007

Stan sets Bullock up on a date with one of Francine's friends. Fearing that Francine will be right about the outcome of the date, Stan goes to great lengths to make sure it goes well by getting everyone drunk. Unfortunately, Bullock accidentally kills the woman, to which Stan frames Francine for the murder in order to keep her from asking so many questions.

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April 29, 2007

After Stan discovers that Francine has a secret sex garden, he feels like their marriage may be crumbling. Looking to rekindle their romance, Francine asks for a divorce so that Stan can experience life as a bachelor again, and both learn a valuable lesson in love. Meanwhile, addicted to an energy drink, Steve finds himself panhandling in the streets to support his new habit.

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0.0

I Can't Stan You

3x17
May 6, 2007

When Stan brings home CIA equipment designed to eavesdrop on conversations, he finds out that his neighbors don't think too highly of him. In retaliation, Stan has the entire neighborhood evicted so that he can live free of any criticism. However, when an unexpected friend comes to his rescue, he realizes that gossip is a two-way street.

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May 13, 2007

After Stan is prosecuted for sending contaminated cattle to a slaughterhouse, he says that it began as a quest to make a man out of Steve. Meanwhile, Roger sparks a cat fight between Francine and Hayley, for reasons of his own.

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0.0

Joint Custody

3x19
May 20, 2007

Roger becomes a bounty hunter, and he and Stan race cross-country to turn in Jeff, who is wanted for smuggling pot into Florida.

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September 30, 2007

When Francine discovers that all of their family vacations have been artificially created memories, she gets very angry and demands a real vacation. However, when the vacation seems too good to be true, Francine is convinced it's the work of the CIA and causes the family to suffer the consequences. Meanwhile, Roger attempts to become the greatest actor who ever lived.

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0.0

Meter Made

4x2
October 7, 2007

In order to be taken more seriously and to be a somebody, Stan becomes a meter maid who seems to have all of the power. Now he's getting the best tables at restaurants, pocketing quarters from meters and impressing Francine with his prowess. But, when Turlington from Parking Internal Affairs pays him a visit, Stan realizes crime and this lifestyle don't pay. Meanwhile, Hayley poses nude for a college art class and is surprised to see Roger there.

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0.0

Dope & Faith

4x3
October 14, 2007

Stan prays for a friend and thinks God sent him one, but he turns out to be an atheist. Stan tries to convince his friend that God exists by making his life extremely hard until his plan backfires. Meanwhile, Roger convinces Steve that he has been accepted to Hogwarts.

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November 4, 2007

When Francine's adopted parents stop by for an unannounced stay, Stan is furious that they refuse to assimilate to his "man of the house" ways. After he unsuccessfully tries to give them the boot, he is convinced that finding Francine's birth parents will change things. Meanwhile, Steve tries to live to the extreme in order to get to second base with the class hottie.

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0.0

Haylias

4x5
November 11, 2007

When Hayley decides to move to France because of imperialistic oppression, Stan will do anything to stop her including revealing the fact that she was brainwashed as a child by the CIA. Feeling desperate, Stan activates her trigger word and gains control over Hayley against the advice of his boss, Bullock. Everything is going fine until Stan remembers that if he doesn’t change Hayley back to normal, there will be deadly consequences for him. Meanwhile, Steve and Roger become private Dick Tracys.

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November 18, 2007

While playing poker with the guys, Stan is found to be a virgin. Not in the traditional way, but in that he's never killed anyone. Roger and the guys help Stan bust his killing cherry.

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0.0

Surro-Gate

4x7
December 2, 2007

When Francine decides to be a surrogate for her gay neighbors Terry and Greg, Stan's Republican blood boils. Although he pretends to be happy, when the baby is born, Stan kidnaps her and heads to the Nebraska boarder, where gay couples have no rights. Meanwhile Steve and Roger pull a Howard Hughes and become reclusive after they think Klaus is out to get them.

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December 16, 2007

After Stan comes home from another dangerous mission, he finds that his family has decked the halls with boughs of holly and donned themselves with gay apparel, but just not to his satisfaction. He demands a grander Christmas starting with the search of a bigger and better tree in the forest. When his family has had enough, Stan powers on by himself, finds the perfect tree and meets an untimely end. While in Limbo, he has to fight for a second chance at life and battle the forces of good and evil to save his family.

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0.0

Frannie 911

4x9
January 6, 2008

After a big fight between Stan and Roger, Francine comes up with a plan to try and reunite the pair. Hoping to show Roger that Stan still cares about him, Francine fakes Roger's kidnapping, but when Stan never shows up to pay the ransom, it forces Roger to rethink the way he treats people.

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0.0

Tearjerker

4x10
January 13, 2008

Stan and the family are characters in a James Bond style spoof. Stan must stop Tearjerker, played by Roger, a diabolical film producer who makes movies that can kill. Tearjerker's fiendish plot involves abducting celebrities from his spa and replacing them with celebrity robots that make horrible movies, all in an effort to make his masterpiece "Oscar's Gold" the best and saddest movie ever, causing millions of moviegoers to cry themselves to death.

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0.0

Oedipal Panties

4x11
January 27, 2008

When Stan’s mom gets dumped for the umpteenth time by a boyfriend, she comes running to Stan for support. Feeling threatened by her always-visiting mother-in-law, Francine is determined to cut Stan’s umbilical cord and figure out what keeps going wrong with the men in her life. Like a regular Cagney & Lacey, Francine and Roger go undercover to solve the case. Meanwhile, Klaus gives Steve the ick.

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0.0

Widowmaker

4x12
February 17, 2008

Francine pushes Stan to open up to her emotionally, but she gets more than she bargained for when he tells her that he killed her best friend Julie's husband. Meanwhile, Roger plays psychiatrist to help them work through their issues.

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0.0

Red October Sky

4x13
April 27, 2008

Stan goes in search of a former KGB agent, Sergei, and is shocked to find that the man is his new next-door neighbor and that Sergei has already turned Steve into a communist. Meanwhile, Roger and Klaus head to France for a little R&R but their trip takes a turn for the worse when Klaus gets busted for drug smuggling.

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0.0

Office Spaceman

4x14
May 4, 2008

Roger begins to release photos of himself to the local media for extra cash, prompting the CIA to initiate an Alien Task Force. Through a twist of fate, Roger ends up in charge of the task force in disguise, creating tension at home as he is now Stan's boss. Meanwhile, Francine comes to grips with being left-handed and Roger frames Stan as an alien in attempt to keep his identity a secret.

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Officially declared dead after an accident with a pudding truck, Stan comes back to life to realize his dream of leaving a legacy on the world and begins to excavate his home in search of Ollie North's "Contra"-band buried treasure. As the search for gold goes "North," life at home heads south as Hayley turns to body-piercing, Steve creates a robotic girlfriend and Roger files for sexual harassment.

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0.0

Spring Breakup

4x16
May 18, 2008

Stan has a Spring Break-induced mid-life crisis. With Francine away visiting her parents, Roger invites Spring Breakers to party at the Smith household. But Stan nearly has a Spring Breakdown when he falls prey to booze-cruising Jessica and Steve tries to lose his virginity to the luscious Carmen Selectra.

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0.0

1600 Candles

5x1
September 28, 2008

The Smiths' plans to celebrate Roger's 1,600th birthday are sidetracked when Steve announces that he's finally going through puberty. Ever fearful of the thought of a Steve with raging hormones, Stan and Francine try to bypass the pains of having another teenager with experimental medicine.

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October 5, 2008

When Roger discovers that someone has maxed out his credit card, he is certain it is identify theft and is determined to bring down the crook. After playing "Matlock" for a few days and dishing out some street justice, he realizes things are not quite right and seem all too familiar.

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0.0

One Little Word

5x3
October 19, 2008

When Stan becomes his boss' go-to guy, he feels like he can't say no to anything including outrageous personal requests. But when Francine gets roped into the annoying ordeal and her romantic Valentine's Day get-away is ruined, she lays down the law and forces Stan to say "NO".

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November 2, 2008

Stan becomes jealous when he finds out Francine was once engaged to a pilot whose plane crashed. Little does she know that her former fiancé is still alive, and when Stan realizes this, he and Roger try to track him down, while Francine must choose between her husband or her lost love.

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November 9, 2008

Steve plots his revenge against all the popular girls who torment nerds and losers at his school.

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November 16, 2008

Hayley breaks up with her boyfriend and falls for Stan's body double from the CIA. Things take a bizarre twist when the double begins hitting on Francine.

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November 30, 2008

Roger suggests Stan hold a telethon to raise funds after the CIA's budget cut, but when Stan takes all the credit for the idea, Roger tries to sabotage it.

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0.0

Chimdale

5x8
January 25, 2009

When Steve suffers indignities in school because of the back brace he must wear for his scoliosis, Stan confides in him that he wears a wig to cover his baldness. Meanwhile, Roger invites both Francine and Hayley to a posh spa even though he has only two passes, so he sneaks in Hayley in a suitcase, raising the suspicions of the house detective.

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0.0

Stan Time

5x9
February 8, 2009

Stan is ecstatic when a co-worker gives him pills that allow him to stay up all night but feel like he slept for eight hours.

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0.0

Family Affair

5x10
February 15, 2009

When the Smiths try to plan a family game night, Roger is full of excuses about prior commitments. However, when he is caught in a lie, the Smiths feel stabbed in the back when they realize Roger has been cheating on them with other families. Stan, Francine, Hayley and Steve go on the offensive to teach Roger a lesson about monogamy until Roger has a breakthrough about why he isn't a one family kind-of-guy.

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0.0

Live and Let Fry

5x11
March 1, 2009

When Langley Falls implements a ban on trans fats, Stan finds himself legally separated from his favorite foods. He sets a poor example for the rest of the family when he blatantly disregards the law by crossing county lines and using Steve as a trans-fatty food mule to satisfy his own gluttonous desires.

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March 8, 2009

When Stan forgets to pick up grenadine at the grocery store, Roger goes ballistic and vows to get him back by taking over a project close to his heart – the Homeowner’s Association.

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0.0

Jack's Back

5x13
March 15, 2009

Steve signs Stan up for a father-son bike tournament, but the plan veers off-track when Stan admits that his father never taught him how to ride a bike. Determined to make things better, Steve helps reconcile Stan with his convict father. Meanwhile, Hayley needs internship credit for school, so Roger hires her to bartend at his makeshift bar in the attic.

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March 22, 2009

Steve and the gang sabotage a stuck-up kid's bar mitzvah after he hits on Steve's girlfriend, Debbie. But when Snot gets wrongly accused of stealing the kid's bar mitzvah money, he must answer to the Rabbi and his own celebration is in jeopardy. Meanwhile, Stan and Francine pitch a cell phone idea to Verizon, but the plan gets fuzzy when they can't deliver the goods.

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0.0

Wife Insurance

5x15
March 29, 2009

When Stan gets kidnapped in Colombia, Francine fears he's gone for good. Stan finally reappears unharmed, but the real trouble erupts in the Smith household when he admits that he has a plan to marry his dentist if Francine dies before him. Meanwhile, Steve and Roger play detective duo "Wheels and the Legman."

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April 19, 2009

Stan is excited about finally building his dream car: a DeLorean. Francine encourages him to include Steve, so the two take a road trip in search of doors for the sports car. The trip veers off-track when there is a mad dash across the country to get the last set of doors available.

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April 26, 2009

Steve joins a junior football team to make Stan proud. However, when a hyper-competitive Stan assumes the position of head coach, Steve gets kicked off the team for not being good enough. Out for revenge, Steve and Roger recruit a new team of misfits who threaten Stan's perfect season. Meanwhile, Francine and Hayley compete for a blue ribbon at the Langley County Fair.

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May 3, 2009

Stan has had enough of Roger's antics! When he calls Roger out, Roger claims he has been sent to Earth to determine the fate of mankind. Stan challenges him to prove it, and is tickled pink when he learns Roger's real purpose for being on Earth. Roger struggles to get a grip on reality until a fateful turn of events helps put things in perspective.

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0.0

Daddy Queerest

5x19
May 10, 2009

Neighbors Terry and Greg are nervous when Terry's father, football great Tank Bates, announces that he will be coming to town for a visit. Terry is worried because his dad doesn't know he's gay, has a baby or lives with his partner. Meanwhile, Steve goes on a drunken bender and learns the meaning of the phrase beer goggles.

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0.0

Stan's Night Out

5x20
May 17, 2009

Stan leaves Francine at home to go out with the boys, but guys' night out goes from wild to reckless when Stan finds himself in one compromising situation after another. Meanwhile, Roger and Hayley use their charm and looks to attract a frat boy.

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On TV episode pages

(right arrow) go to next episode
(left arrow) go to previous episode

On all image pages

a open add image window

On all edit pages

t open translation selector
ctrl+ s submit form

On discussion pages

n create new discussion
w toggle watching status
p toggle public/private
c toggle close/open
a open activity
r reply to discussion
l go to last reply
ctrl+ enter submit your message
(right arrow) next page
(left arrow) previous page