Phil is determined to help Luke prove to mom that he is responsible enough to have the brand new bike they just got him. However Phil ends up being the irresponsible one when a hot neighbor clouds his judgment. Meanwhile Mitchell and Cameron take Lily to their first Mommy & Me class, and Jay and Manny have some awkward father and son time.

Claire feels slightly inadequate when her old friend, Valerie, visits and is nothing like Claire remembered. Meanwhile Jay has an unsettling locker room moment when he and Cameron go play racquetball, and Mitchell tries to help Gloria with some legal problems

Phil finally agrees to sell the old station wagon but only after a family trip down memory lane; Cameron asks Jay for help when Mitchell decides to build a life-size princess castle for Lily.

Phil and Claire pressure Alex to ease back on her school work, but begin to worry about their own intellectual drives. Meanwhile, Jay is upset when Gloria tries to befriend a new couple, and Mitchell runs into an old female flame.

Mitchell and Cameron assess their family members in trying to decide who would best take care of Lily should anything happen to them.

Jay helps Manny with a school fundraiser. Claire petitions for a stop sign at a busy intersection. Phil and Luke try to create a viral video. Gloria searches for Stella.

Phil contemplates the worst, after missing a call from the doctor. Elsewhere, Javier, Manny's biological father, pays another visit to take his son to the horse races, Mitchell wins an environmental law award, creating a competition between Cam and himself on who has the better trophy, and Gloria tutors Haley in Spanish.

The funeral service for a beloved clown mentor reunites Cameron with his estranged ex-clown partner, Lewis. Phil is serious about landing a very important listing, only to get trumped by a notorious bulldozer of an agent, Mitzi Roth. Manny has a cool new friend, which makes both Jay and Gloria suspicious.

Gloria and Jay bicker while trying to order lunch at a diner. Claire and Cam have different theories on how to discipline kids. Luke accepts an award under false pretenses. Phil has a hard time firing Mitchell from his temporary job at the real estate agency. The entire family participates in Alex's living art display of Norman Rockwell's Thanksgiving painting.

Luke wants to quit magic and Phil just can't seem to accept it. Meanwhile, one of Gloria's new pregnancy symptoms is snoring and she's keeping the whole house awake, forcing Jay to take desperate measures; and Mitch and Cam's household dynamic is put to the test when they decide to swap duties -- Mitch staying at home with Lily while Cam goes off to work at his new job as the music teacher at Luke and Manny's school.

When Gloria's mother and sister visit, they bring traditions, baby names and family baggage; Phil helps the kids with their problems; Mitchell and Cameron try to correct Lily's bad habits.

Phil gets desperate when Cam and Claire’s flipped house is more difficult to sell than expected; Javier brings his new girlfriend along to visit Manny.

Phil's job takes up a lot of his time; Luke has his friends over for a poker game; Gloria worries the baby is cursed; Cam hosts a funeral for the cat's imaginary wife.

he adults are Vegas-bound when Jay hooks them up with Excelsior Level hotel accommodations courtesy of one of his big clients, but after learning there’s an even higher level, Jay becomes obsessed with upgrading. Meanwhile, everyone’s sneaking around when Claire secretly hits the tables to win back money she lost years ago, Phil goes underground auditioning for a secret society of magicians, Cam ducks out of a spa day with Mitch to join their friend’s bachelor party shenanigans, and Gloria is determined to hide a female version of dog butler Barkley from Jay.

Phil fails at his one task to stay home and wait for the repairman, forcing him to tell an elaborate lie to hide the truth from Claire, but the stress is more than he can physically handle. Meanwhile, Gloria is obsessing over the family portrait she is responsible for organizing this year. Claire accuses Cam of being too snobby to use her girls’ hand-me-downs and Jay secretly enters Stella in a dog show.

During Jay's Thanksgiving toast, he honors the entire family on their recent successes, even though everyone knows that isn't quite true. As everyone desperately tries to hide the facts about their perceived triumphs, Phil works hard to master a classic magic trick and prove he's not the family failure.

Gloria has to rush Phil to the hospital for an emergency surgery after he experiences some intense stomach pains and rallies the entire family to be by his side.

When Haley hears that her loopy boss is looking for a product with the magical properties of peppers, she tries to gain favor by convincing Gloria to sell her salsa to NERP; Mitchell gets Cam the police ride-along he’s always dreamed of.

When Cam forgets the words to his favorite country song, he blames Mitch and decides he needs to reconnect with his roots and get a chicken. When Alex is up for a prestigious government job that requires a family interview, it causes everyone to overcompensate and jeopardize her chances. Haley and Dylan think it might be time they grew up a little.

While preparing a presentation for his students about their future goals, Cam must also contend with a bully at the school and Jay is having a little technical trouble during his video conference. Meanwhile, the local mall is holding a photo shoot for its new ad campaign and Gloria tricks Phil and Joe into participating.

Dylan and Luke are really impressed with Bill’s tales of heroism and survival as a firefighter, which make Phil feel emasculated. To impress the guys, he invites them over for a little male-bonding moment that goes terribly wrong.