Spike Feresten — Writer
While on their way to the "soup place" Elaine finds an antique armoire she wants. George makes a mistake while trying to get his soup from the "Soup Nazi." Elaine isn't allowed to move her armoire into her building, so Kramer offers to watch it for her, out on the street. George and Elaine discuss how annoyed they are by Jerry's sweet-talking with his current girlfriend, especially their calling each other "Schmoopie." Elaine makes an ordering error in front of the "Soup Nazi," gets on his bad side and is banned for a year. In broad daylight and in Kramer's presence, two "tough" guys come along and take Elaine's armoire. Kramer relates the story of the armoire to the "Soup Nazi," who says he has an armoire in the basement that Kramer can have. Jerry's girlfriend makes a faux pas in the "soup place" and Jerry disavows any knowledge of her. George confronts Jerry and reminds him about their pact. George and Susan see Jerry and his girlfriend at the diner and they begin to compete against each other. Susan appreciates that George is finally showing his feelings in public. Kramer gives Elaine the armoire and tells her where he got it. Elaine goes to thank the "Soup Nazi" but gets even further on his bad side. Jerry discovers the armoire contains the "Soup Nazi"'s recipes and Elaine takes them for her final confrontation with the "Soup Nazi."Read More
Jerry uses Elaine to prove that a sales clerk is wrong about his looking at an expensive jacket. Elaine is picked up by the clerk. George has an unwanted house guest, a wig master for the touring company of "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat." He also has found a parking lot that charges $75 dollars a month; Kramer decides to put his car there. Unfortunately, he leaves his apartment key there. When he can't get his key, he is allowed to borrow a pink Cadillac. Jerry is convinced the clerk is working Elaine. George discovers why the lot is so cheap, he finds a used condom in his car and is asking a prostitute for information, just as Susan approaches. George discovers that he may have an out with Susan; she says she must be able to trust him and have no doubts. Kramer stays at Jerry's apartment. Elaine has a walking stick she lets Kramer have. Jerry tries to return his jacket, but discovers that "spite" isn't a viable reason. Kramer is allowed to borrow the back up "Electric Color Dreamcoat." Jerry is put out, when both sexes assume he isn't in a relationship with the person he is with (Elaine in one instance, the Wig Master in the other). Kramer finds a fuzzy white hat. With all the parts put together, his new ensemble is a sight to behold, just ask the NYPD after he is caught pulling a prostitute out of his borrowed car.Read More
Elaine reluctantly lets George attend a party she is throwing at work. "Sweet fancy Moses" exclaims George when he sees Elaine dance at a party she's holding for her employees. She wonders why they've lost respect for her. Jerry gets 2 tickets to a premiere of a film. Kramer asks him to get an extra ticket for his friend Brody. Elaine thinks the loss of respect might be due to George's influence, so she makes him off limits to Anna, one of the women George talked to at the party. That "bad boy" image makes him all the more desirable. Jerry and Kramer attend the film with Brody, who begins to make a bootleg tape. Brody gets sick and has Kramer take him home, leaving Jerry to finish making the tape. Jerry worries about the implications when Brody likes him camera work and asks him to do another film. However, he complains about the quality of Kramer's work. Elaine finds out the truth about her dancing after she tapes herself. Elaine apologizes to Anna and George, which suddenly makes him undesirable. Brody won't meet Jerry's demands for equipment; George takes on the challenge, but gets arrested. Frank comes to bail him out and Elaine lets him know the truth about his son. Elaine's dance becomes a big hit on the streets of New York.Read More
George is excited about the new apartment he is going to move into. Elaine is on a blind date, now called a "set-up." Jerry takes Kramer to his self-storage where they discover that Newman has been hiding bags of mail. George finds out he can't get his apartment because the tenant association is going to give it to an Andrea Doria survivor. Elaine is told her date won't be making it because he's been stabbed. She is aroused by the situation. Kramer's cold is getting bad and he's not going to the doctor, they botched his vasectomy, he's more potent now than ever. Jerry tries to get Newman to get rid of the mail; however, he's not interested because he didn't get the transfer to Hawaii. Kramer finds a dog with a cold that he volunteers to take to the vet, so he can get medicine for their colds. Elaine meets her blind date who gets coffee thrown in his face from another ex-girlfriend. She discovers his problem is that he is a "bad breaker upper." George confronts his rival for the apartment and decides to wage war. Elaine's blind date breaks up with her and tells she has "a big head." From a suggestion by Jerry, George asks for a hearing with the association and tells them the story of his life. Jerry forms "an alliance" with Newman that will hopefully get him out of his life forever. Jerry tries to get Kramer to take his medication. He discovers that Kramer is taking dog medication and beginning to exhibit the signs of being a dog. The big head comment begins to hold true for Elaine and she makes a comment about jamming "a fork in his forehead." Jerry tries to take Kramer to a real doctor. After Kramer bites Newman's ankle, Jerry offers to deliver the rest of his mail. He is too efficient for the post office. Elaine meets up with her blind date and makes good on her promise. Kramer saves the day. George and the survivor don't get the apartment.Read More
George watches a bag for a tourist who never comes back, so he starts wearing some of the clothes. Elaine tells Kramer that the stories he sold to Peterman were put into the book. Kramer goes to the book signing, claiming he is the real "Peterman." George becomes a tourist from Arkansas when he meets a beautiful woman from the tourist bureau on the street. Jerry shaves his chest and worries about it until he discovers his girlfriend likes hairless dogs. Elaine eats only the tops of muffins and she says that it is a million dollar idea, Mr. Lippman, her former boss, decides to start a business. Kramer starts conducting "Peterman Reality Tours" for $37.50 a piece. When the muffin top business doesn't seem to be working, Lippman asks Elaine for advice. She tells him that he must make the whole muffin and remove the top from the stump, she also demands that he remove the exclamation point from his sign. The stumps can be given to the homeless. Only they don't want them. In fact nobody wants them. Jerry continues to shave his chest despite Kramer's warning about hair growth. George "moves" to New York and takes a job with the Yankees. Steinbrenner is led to believe that George is holding down two jobs and makes a deal to trade George for chicken. Elaine convinces Kramer to get rid of her stumps and he convinces Jerry and his girlfriend to take his tour. Jerry's chest begins itching from hair growth. Elaine hires "a cleaner" to make the muffin stump problem go away.Read More
Jerry's childhood friend "Fragile" Frankie promises to get Jerry a new car because of a show he did for Frankie's car dealership. George prepares for his weekly call to his parents. Kramer plans his revenge on a company because of the over abundance of catalogs they've sent him in the past month. Elaine is back with Puddy, but meets the man of her dreams at the diner and plans to keep Puddy in reserve until she finds out if the new guy can "handle the workload." Kramer gets deluged with more catalogs and plans to stop the mail. George's parents cut him short on his weekly phone call. Jerry gets a van and not the Saab he'd hoped for. Frankie reminds him of the childhood dream they had where they got a van a toured the country. George pops in on his parents and reminds his parent's they didn't call him back, but they have to leave right away. Kramer bricks up his mailbox, but that doesn't stop his mail from being delivered. Jerry plans to sell the van; Kramer helps him out with the ad copy that cites interesting trades considered. Kramer goes to the post office to permanently cancel his mail. Newman confesses to him that no one really needs their mail but that there is a greater conspiracy at work. George demands to know what's going on with his parents; they tell him they are cutting him loose. George isn't ready for abandonment; he plans to date his cousin as a means of getting his parents involved in his life. Jerry determines that the appeal Elaine finds in her new boyfriend comes from some old commercial that he appeared in. Kramer wants Jerry's van and offers Anthony Quinn's old tee shirt as an interesting trade. Elaine wants Puddy back, but is rejected by him. Kramer uses the van to launch his anti-postal campaign. George's cousin is into their relationship; however, George schemes to have his parents catch him making out with her. Kramer is captured and enlightened by the postmaster general. Elaine's boyfriend gets his second piece of good news in one day, his TV career has been revitalized and she is taking him back. Jerry must sell the van after seeing what they saw.Read More
Puddy is wearing what can only be described as a "man fur." Jerry and Elaine leave it to George to sniff them out a deal on a massage chair, for an apartment warming gift for their friend Joe Mayo. Elaine doesn't like Joe's parties, because he always gives his guests an assignment. Kramer and Newman are going to reverse the peepholes on their doors. The landlord wants to evict Newman, because he is an agitator. Jerry decides to go wallet-less. George is opposed to the idea; he keeps everything in his wallet. Jerry, George, Elaine and "man furred" Puddy go to the party and get their assignments. Elaine, who is in charge of the coats, decides to throw "Dr. Zaius" (Puddy's coat) out the window. Kramer comes to Newman's defense with the landlord. Joe Mayo has the same kind of coat that Puddy had, so he wants Elaine to replace the coat, after all she was in charge. George complains about back problems that Jerry attributes to the size of his wallet. The massage chair gets delivered to George's apartment. Wallet-less Jerry must carry all his girlfriend's stuff, when they go out on their date. Newman admits to Kramer that he is sleeping with the landlord's wife. Kramer and Newman find Puddy's coat hanging in a tree.
Jerry complains about carrying all his girlfriend's stuff and Elaine tells him about Peterman's small men's carryall. "It's not a purse, it's European." Elaine decides she is out of the gift, if she has to replace the coat. George is enjoying the new chair and lies about getting the chair. Elaine finds out that Newman has Puddy's coat and she invites Newman to her apartment. Despite Elaine's come-ons, Newman won't give up the coat, he has given it to the landlord's wife. The landlord confronts Kramer, when he discovers the fur coat. Kramer says that it belongs to Jerry, because he is one of those insecure entertainers. Kramer convinces Jerry to wear the coat in front of the landlord. George continues to lie about the receiving the gift. Jerry drops out of the gift, when he finds out that Joe Mayo didn't like the music he provided at last year's party. Kramer was never in the gift, he just thought it was a good idea for a gift, he doesn't even know Joe Mayo. George will be able to return the chair, after he has the receipt in his wallet. Out on the street, George's wallet explodes. Jerry goes out on the street in the fur coat, where his "purse" is stolen and the landlord finds out the truth about the coat. Puddy gets a new coat.Read More
Kramer "hangs-out" more than usual at Jerry's place. Jerry spots Uncle Leo shoplifting. George takes a large book into the bathroom with him. Kramer and Newman plan to implement Kramer's idea for running a rickshaw service in the city. Elaine is at the annual Peterman party, where everyone is anxious to know if she is going to dance again and when. She ends up getting drunk and making out at a table with another man.Read More
The gang tries to get back into town after leaving the Mets game early in the 8th inning, the Mets are down 9 - 0. On the highway they run into trouble with a maroon Volkswagen Golf. George comments on a new movie he saw about the Hindenburg disaster and the clever comment he made during a quiet moment after the explosion. As they approach 5th Avenue traffic slows down and music can be heard, they realize they have forgotten about the Puerto Rican day parade. Elaine worries about getting home and seeing 60 Minutes as part of her weekend wind down. Kramer spots a way out if Jerry can worm his way over to the right. They almost make it over until they reencounter the maroon Golf. Elaine bails out of the car to find alternate transportation. George bails out of the car when he spots a theater screening the Hindenburg movie; he decides he wants to repeat his glory. Elaine decides the cab she hired isn't working, so she bails out of the cab, only to have it start moving again and again. George's attempt to be funny at the movie is undermined by a guy with one of those funny laser pointers. Kramer suggests that he and Jerry abandon his car. The laser pointer guy (a lousy prop comic) gets all the laughs as George's line bombs and he is humiliated. Kramer cuts a deal with the maroon Golf they are go to get access to the short cut when Jerry makes an apology wave. George returns to the car with the red dot of a laser pointer appearing all over parts of his body. Jerry rescinds his apology wave just as he is about to pull in the alley; Elaine arrives back at the same spot in her cab.
Jerry's apartment is seen, but no one is home. Elaine seeks an alternate way home. Kramer seeks a bathroom. Elaine works her way over to the parade route and looks for a way across. She leads a group of people on an escape route underneath a reviewing stand ala The Poseidon Adventure. Kramer spots an apartment for sale and poses as H.E Pennypacker, a wealthy industrialist, to get access to a bathroom. When he gets back he tells Jerry about the Mets game. Soon after, Kal Varnsen (Jerry's alias), is looking at the television in the apartment. George spots the laser guy and plans a sneak attack. Elaine's route leads to a dead end. George grabs what he thinks is the laser pointer and gets ink all over his hands. Kramer accidentally sets the Puerto Rican flag on fire and a mob of people, led by the armoire stealing tough guys. Art Vandelay seeks the use of a bathroom to clean the ink off his hands and runs into Varnsen. Pennypacker joins them on the run from the mob. Varnsen wants know who's watching the Saab factory. The mob is watching it; however, they leave it in a precarious position.Read More
While doing his stand up act, Jerry takes questions from the crowd. One of the questions is "where did the series come from?" An often asked question, Jerry responds by showing a videotape he's prepared. The video includes his first appearance on "The Tonight Show" (6 May 1981), interviews with his managers, his co-creator Larry David, executives from NBC and Castle Rock, his fellow cast mates, and other people involved with the production during the early years (the pilot through season. All of this is interspersed with numerous clips from the show. At the end when asked if they are going to do a reunion show, Jerry answers "Ah yes, you've just saw it, I hope you enjoyed it." This is followed by several bloopers.Read More