Pilot episode. Jim Broadbent & David Schneider are the only actors from the series appearing in this pilot episode from 1995.

Inept bank manager Peter Duffley believes his assistant has fallen in love with him.

Iris has won 250 pounds on the National Lottery—or so she thinks. Unfortunately, absent-minded Peter has forgotten to buy the tickets.

The staff organizes a collection for the cleaner and also goes on a fitness drive.

Unless he can land a major account very quickly, Peter looks set to miss out on his bonus again.

When an ordinary day at Albridge C&P Bank is rudely interrupted by two apparent bank robbers, Peter heroically protects his staff (in his version of events).

Both Peter and assistant manager Susan apply for a managerial position at another branch. Peter steals Susan's proposal, but gets locked in the bank over bank holiday.

Peter Duffley's feelings of job insecurity are exacerbated when he is visited by Victor, a fellow manager who has been destroyed by redundancy and, as a consequence, has become completely bonkers. Despite efforts to ""play the corporate game"", Peter is horrified when David's marriage collapses and Susan moves in. Meanwhile, believing Peter to be Susan's lover, mad Victor sets about exacting a terrible revenge with only a staple extractor and a small guillotine.

A will-reading brings mixed fortunes in the Country & Provincial Bank. Two brothers from the inbred local farming community come in for a will-reading, which leads to Peter Duffley finding himself the temporary guardian of a pedigree greyhound. Geoffrey persuades him to ""borrow"" the animal for the afternoon and do a bit of stud work—a coincidence, as Susan and David have similar ideas at a Nuneaton conference.

Peter Duffley is triumphant when he is notified that royalty is coming to the branch—well, almost royalty—in the shape of the Viscount Graham of Kent, patron of the Viscount of Kent's Countryside Hunt Fund.The only problem is, the visit coincides with the imminent retirement of Geoffrey, the long-serving Senior Cashier. Meanwhile, Geoffrey's svelte young replacement has Bradley in a bit of a lather. Will the visit, and Geoffrey's retirement, turn into a right royal disaster?

Bradley finds himself fired when Peter Duffley decides to follow the correct corporate procedures following a run-in with his boss.Things improve for Bradley when Barbara tells Peter that—thanks to a night of passion 25 years ago in a Morris Marina—Bradley is his son. Peter starts to see himself in Bradley's vacant stare and gormless expressions and undergoes a dramatic change of heart.

Susan has decided to end her relationship with David because his wife is pregnant. Of course, when she tells Peter Duffley that she is emigrating to Canada, immediately, he can't wait to celebrate. Bradley loves Susan and wants to tell her the truth - that David's wife is pregnant by another man - so Peter locks him in the vault. Neither must she learn the truth from David, who is trying frantically to talk to her.

The bank business is changing and Peter Duffley is struggling to deal with his diminishing status as branch manager. So when Susan is promoted onto a Fast Track management course, it's no wonder he starts to feel emasculated. He also has to cope with the fact that one of his clients is undergoing a sex change. Meanwhile, Bradley has a sexual encounter with a 1.8m Brazilian beauty with a pipe and a terrible secret.