Michael learns there's more to Jack than rippling muscles, as they match wits in a crossword-puzzle competition; Suzanne will do anything---including attend funerals---to drum up real-estate clients. Meanwhile, Carrie copes with annoying customers who snap at her.

A would-be thespian from Texas comes to town and tries to land a part in Neil Simon's latest play, losing out at her first audition, she finds friendship with the ecclectic group of regulars at a diner called Union Square.

Gaby asks Michael to write her an original monologue for a big audition, which leads to doubts about their respective talents; Jack gets involved with his parole officer's daughter; Suzanne interviews prospective divorce lawyers; and Albie is fascinated by the diner's new revolving pie rack.

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Gaby is cast in a student film, but the scene requires her to kiss Jack.

Rhea Perlman guest stars as a bookie's widow looking to collect a debt from Jack; Gaby is fired from her temp job after being sexually harassed and Michael wants her to sue; Suzanne tries to find someone to take a cruise with her.

Jack takes money from the tip jar and bets it on a horse race; Suzanne gives Santa Claus a pep talk before he appears in the Thanksgiving Day parade; Michael and Gaby concoct stories about their careers to tell their families.

The gang rally to lift Gaby's limping Christmas spirit when a series of misfortunes leaves her singing the blues; Albie rescues a red-nosed reindeer from a Christmas tree lot.

Carrie signs with a record label after performing in a lesbian club. Gaby tries to reunite an elderly man and his long-lost love, a woman he fell in love with at the diner 50 years ago when it was a dance hall.

Jack goes to great lengths to make it up to a woman whose car he once stole; at Albie's prompting, Carrie tries to be nicer to her customers, including Lea Thompson of ""Caroline in the City"" who appears as herself.