Bullet Train (2022)

Written by CinemaSerf on August 15, 2022

Brad Pitt is "Ladybug" - a now zen-like, semi-retired, hitman brought out of retirement to appropriate a suitcase from a train. Easy enough task, you might think - especially as he obtains it relatively easily. It then transpires, though, that there is much more afoot. Also on the train are the two guys who own the suitcase - "Lemon" (Brian Tyree Henry) and his twin "Tangerine" (Aaron Taylor-Johnson) who have been tasked with rescuing the recently kidnapped son of the legendary "White Death" crime lord and his ransom (in the suitcase). When the pair discover that their loot has gone missing and that their charge has developed a rather nasty habit of bleeding from the eyes, they have to keep their suspicious employer at bay and find their luggage whilst this high-speed train hurtles from Tokyo to Kyoto. Add to the mix the slightly enigmatic "Prince" (Joey King) - outwardly a charming, butter-wouldn't-melt, schoolgirl type, but really a gal who is also up to something with the rather hapless "Kimura" (Andrew Kohi) whose son she had recently pushed from a roof and, well... Yes, the plot is pretty convoluted at the start but with a monologue style narrative well delivered by an on-form Pitt, and an engaging repartee between the 'Thomas the Tank Engine" obsessed "Lemon" and his spiritual brother, this actually makes for quite a decent action adventure. It is way too long - it could comfortably shave twenty minutes from the character establishment phase, but the script is quickly paced and sometimes quite clever and there are plenty of action scenes that are fun to watch and don't take too long. It has shades of "Pulp Fiction" (1994) I thought - multiple characters with entertaining storylines that gradually involve and synergise all the characters. The ending isn't the best, and perhaps one might wonder about the complete lack of security not just on the train but at just about every station between the two cities. Carnage ensues pretty readily but no sign of a blue light. It's fun, throwaway, entertainment that follows on from "The Lost City" in which Sandra Bullock and Channing Tatum allow Pitt the supporting role that he allows to both of them - and a tiny but of Ryan Reynolds too, if you are eagle-eyed, here. It's factory fodder, and you won't remember it by Christmas - but it's still nice to see some folks having fun on a big screen with no pretence whatsoever.