Jurassic Park III (2001)

Written by John Chard on September 30, 2019

Reverse Darwinism - survival of the most idiotic.

Eight years after the horrors of Jurassic Park, we find Dr. Alan Grant happy with his lot, nothing on Earth could coax him back on to one of the "InGen Islands." Trouble is, is that Paul and Amanda Kirby, in the search for their missing son, get him to Isla Sorna without his knowing anything about it, and sure enough, dinosaurs are set to rule their evolved world once more.

Clocking in at just about 83 minutes in actuality, you sense that director Joe Johnston (Jumanji) knew he had to get in quickly, do his job, and get the hell out of Dodge ASAP. Sure enough, JP3 feels like (is) a quick coin in, the formula is straight up simple from the executive desks, dump a load of annoying characters on an island and see if they can survive being chomped on by dinosaurs. That the makers managed to get Sam Neil and William H. Macy on board with such a turgid script, is nothing short of amazing. Perhaps just as Neil's character is duped in the film, so shall it be in real life...

Still, it's no abomination by any stretch of the imagination. Johnston, realising that the audience wants dino action, wastes no time in letting the critters loose on our motley crew. Which in spite of the child friendly nature of the piece (think more chase movie adventure than monster peril) is all rather spiffing and enjoyable. You may find yourself hoping the irritable Téa Leoni gets eaten, and you may find yourself laughing at some of Alessandro Nivola's scenes when you are not meant to (is that a Superman homage?), but at least it's fun enough to get away with the bad points. Thanks in the main to the creatures and the relatively short running time. 5/10