The film was also particularly scathing about sacrifice idolization (may not be the accurate word im looking for). For instance, being critical of anyone who would sacrifice his/her "sight" for the sake of saving a relationship.

In other words, how far should one sacrifice oneself for the sake of his/her significant other without sacrificing your own identity?

Yes, it is suggesting that changing anything about yourself for the sake fo a relationship is moronic. They emphasized it with him about to poke his eyes out just for the sake of saving the relationship. You are right on the money about that one.

Yes, I thought the whole "pairing people up because they had something in common part" was really dumb and a good reflection of what society considers to be important. My bf and I barely like any of the same things, yet we somehow manage to get along. From my experience, having shared values and the same sense of humour is much more important than "OMG we both like reggae music and Thai food, we're perfect for each other!"

@theburbs said:

Yes, I thought the whole "pairing people up because they had something in common part" was really dumb and a good reflection of what society considers to be important. My bf and I barely like any of the same things, yet we somehow manage to get along. From my experience, having shared values and the same sense of humour is much more important than "OMG we both like reggae music and Thai food, we're perfect for each other!"

Ha ha! Yes, exactly! It is quite okay to bond over shared interests but it is not okay to declare "This is THE ONE" simply because you share some similar tastes.

@movie_nazi said:

However, society also looks down upon people who flirt, kiss, or fk outside of a dedicated relationship. In real life, they are called promiscuous, sluts, whores, etc. In the film they are severely punished.

I wish this was truth, though it's already becoming pretty accepted in plenty European countries and monogamy and faithfulness seem outdated. It's truth we are people and sometimes it's difficult not to slip down, but I would still think it will be more frowned upon, while current movies seem to be promoting being unfaithful. :-(

@movie_nazi said:

The movie also touches upon on how people choose a mate. People (in real life) seem to be fixated on having something in common. Sometimes they are so desperate to be in a relationship mostly because they want to "fit in" to society that they may fixate on something they have in common no matter how trivial and certainly not something to build a complete relationship on. You see it a lot in life that people bond over something such as having the same taste for movies or music or simply enjoying the sex they have together and seem to build the relationship around it often ignoring the many other things they loathe about each other just to remain in the relationship because of the pressure of the outside world to be in one or be doomed to be looked upon as weird. This is where the absurd match-ups in the film come in. It is an exaggeration of what people do in real life.

I dunno, in my country we have saying, something like "Opposites atract each other", there are many couples which have very little in common and it works for them, so I don't think this is necessarily accepted idea that partners should be so similar.

@movie_nazi said:

The digging of the grave was also a metaphor for when people say if you don't get married or are in a relationship then who will take care of you when you die? Will you be found by your stink weeks later? I knew right away before even looking it up that this film had to be written by either a Spanish or Mediterranean background because they are SO pressured to get married. I also think people who never felt this pressure would not understand the movie and be fixated on the literal world and ask questions like how did the world end up like this, etc.

Anyways, I loved the film. From Latin background myself where if you are not married by the time you are 30 they start asking if you are in the closet.

Pff, Europe is nothing compared to China where I lived, everyone must get married and have chidren to satisfy grandparents, then you can just throw those children to grandparents to make them happy and everyone is fine with that, pretty sick society, even marriage is seen more like some mutually beneficial transaction than some act of love. Also statistics across Europe would suggest marriage is going down and it's difficult to sell it, each year more and more children are borned outside of marriage without any plans to marry in future. Can't really say it's wrong, in the end it's just piece of paper.

@Markoff said:

Pff, Europe is nothing compared to China where I lived, everyone must get married and have chidren to satisfy grandparents, then you can just throw those children to grandparents to make them happy and everyone is fine with that, pretty sick society, even marriage is seen more like some mutually beneficial transaction than some act of love. Also statistics across Europe would suggest marriage is going down and it's difficult to sell it, each year more and more children are borned outside of marriage without any plans to marry in future. Can't really say it's wrong, in the end it's just piece of paper.

Well like I said, this is really old hat thinking and was quite common until recently and less so with France and Great Britain. But Greece, Italy, and Spain was very much into expecting you to get married. I know that in the far east it is much worse.

@movie_nazi said:

@Markoff said:

Pff, Europe is nothing compared to China where I lived, everyone must get married and have chidren to satisfy grandparents, then you can just throw those children to grandparents to make them happy and everyone is fine with that, pretty sick society, even marriage is seen more like some mutually beneficial transaction than some act of love. Also statistics across Europe would suggest marriage is going down and it's difficult to sell it, each year more and more children are borned outside of marriage without any plans to marry in future. Can't really say it's wrong, in the end it's just piece of paper.

Well like I said, this is really old hat thinking and was quite common until recently and less so with France and Great Britain. But Greece, Italy, and Spain was very much into expecting you to get married. I know that in the far east it is much worse.

Yeah, I am familiar with Catholic south + Poland, but most of the Europe is different than these few religious catholic/Christian countries.

I don't get the part where two loners want to be in a relationship and the leader of the loners punishes them. WTF was that?

@babuandbabu said:

I don't get the part where two loners want to be in a relationship and the leader of the loners punishes them. WTF was that?

IMO it is representative of the terminally single people in the world who just can't stand when a couple is happy together and does everything in his/her power to sabotage the relationship. It's a misery likes company sorta thing.

what about the role dignity plays in coupling...

In every context, the hotel, the city and the protagonist couple who disobey the 'loner' group all find dignity in their couplings... However, in the 'loner' group people have freedom insofar as they obey their leader, but no dignity...

Interesting...

@movie_nazi said:

The film is a metaphor for how society looks upon relationships. In real life, society pushes everyone to be in a relationship. If you are currently not in a relationship then you are looked upon as strange and out of step. Perhaps there is something wrong with you. The film makes the exaggeration and takes it to the level where if you are not in a deep relationship then you really have no place in our society (thus the change you to an animal). The loners are the "weirdos" in society. The ones who do not choose to be in a relationship. However, society also looks down upon people who flirt, kiss, or fk outside of a dedicated relationship. In real life, they are called promiscuous, sluts, whores, etc. In the film they are severely punished.

The movie also touches upon on how people choose a mate. People (in real life) seem to be fixated on having something in common. Sometimes they are so desperate to be in a relationship mostly because they want to "fit in" to society that they may fixate on something they have in common no matter how trivial and certainly not something to build a complete relationship on. You see it a lot in life that people bond over something such as having the same taste for movies or music or simply enjoying the sex they have together and seem to build the relationship around it often ignoring the many other things they loathe about each other just to remain in the relationship because of the pressure of the outside world to be in one or be doomed to be looked upon as weird. This is where the absurd match-ups in the film come in. It is an exaggeration of what people do in real life.

The digging of the grave was also a metaphor for when people say if you don't get married or are in a relationship then who will take care of you when you die? Will you be found by your stink weeks later? I knew right away before even looking it up that this film had to be written by either a Spanish or Mediterranean background because they are SO pressured to get married. I also think people who never felt this pressure would not understand the movie and be fixated on the literal world and ask questions like how did the world end up like this, etc.

Anyways, I loved the film. From Latin background myself where if you are not married by the time you are 30 they start asking if you are in the closet.

The Lobster (2015) - 4 outta 5 stars

Thanks for the breakdown. I agree entirely, but it led me to be somewhat disconnected from the film, as you suggested it might. Partly due to culture no longer being like this in my part of the world. Perhaps, partly because I did alarmingly see some of myself in the loners!

@movie_nazi said:

@babuandbabu said:

I don't get the part where two loners want to be in a relationship and the leader of the loners punishes them. WTF was that?

IMO it is representative of the terminally single people in the world who just can't stand when a couple is happy together and does everything in his/her power to sabotage the relationship. It's a misery likes company sorta thing.

I agree, and for a brief moment felt like the leader was jealous of the main protagonist because she secretly wanted him. I don’t know. I enjoyed the film and pretty much understand everyone’s points.