Lauren bliver smidt ud af sin kærestes lejlighed på Manhattan, fordi han skal på forretningsrejse til Italien. Samtidig mister Laurens tidligere fjende fra college, Katie, sit boligtilskud. Deres fælles bøsseven, Jesse, formidler kontakten mellem de to piger, så de kan hjælpe hinanden med at tjene lidt basører. De starter deres eget telefonsex-bureau, som hurtigt bliver en strygende succes.
Mr. Hoppy is a shy old man who lives alone in an apartment building. For many years, he has been secretly in love with Mrs. Silver, a woman who lives below him. Mr. Hoppy frequently leans over his balcony and exchanges polite conversation with Mrs. Silver, but he is too shy to disclose how he feels. Mr. Hoppy longs to express his feelings to Mrs. Silver, but he can never bring his lips to form the words. Mrs. Silver has a small pet tortoise, Alfie, whom she loves very much. One morning, Mrs. Silver mentions to Mr. Hoppy that even though she has had Alfie for many years, her pet has only grown a tiny bit and has gained only 3 ounces in weight. She confesses that she wishes she knew of some way to make her little Alfie grown into a larger, more dignified tortoise. Mr. Hoppy suddenly thinks of a way to give Mrs. Silver her wish and win her affection.
Sid og hans modvillige ven Bernie kommer på den ide at tage på nudist-campingferie for at peppe deres forhold til deres kærester lidt op! Campingturen bliver dog først rigtig interessant, da dr. Soaper, rektor for Chayste Place Finishing School, ankommer sammen med forstanderinden miss Haggard og elleve veldrejede piger.
Hele holdet er denne gang taget på chartertur til en middelhavsø, men det bliver et ophold af en lidt anden karakter end de havde regnet med. Ganske muntert kapitel i den endeløse filmserie byder på en hel del gas og gags samt de sædvanlige rappe replikker, selvom historien godt kunne have haft lidt mere kød på benet. Peter Butterworth er et komisk trumfkort som den uduelige hotelindehaver Pepe.
A gang of thieves plan to make their fortune by stealing a shipment of contraceptive pills from Finisham maternity hospital. They assume disguises and infiltrate the hospital, but everything doesn't go according to plan. The hypochondriac consultant Sir Bernard Cutting, Matron and the doctors and nurses at Finisham have a habit of getting in the way.
Patienterne på et højtråbende sengeafsnit underholder sig selv med vilde løjer, alt imens de forsøger at undgå oversygeplejerskens vrede.
This is the tale of industrial strife at WC Boggs' Lavatory factory. Vic Spanner is the union representative who calls a strike at the drop of a hat; eventually everyone has to get fed up with him. This is also the ideal opportunity for lots of lavatorial jokes...
Leaving their hometown of Fulchester in the North of England, Sandra and Tracey head for the bright lights of London, shagging and boozing their way to fame and fortune.
Captain Crowther's lot is not a happy one! Five of his crew have to be replaced and at such short notice before the voyage begins there isn't much to choose from. Not only does he get the five most incompetent shipmates ever to sail the seven seas, but the passengers turn out to be a rather strange bunch too. The SS Happy Wanderer will never be the same.
Henry VIII has just married Marie of Normandy, and is eager to consummate their marriage. Unfortunately for Henry, she is always eating garlic, and refuses to stop. Deciding to get rid of her in his usual manner, Henry has to find some way of doing it without provoking war with Marie's cousin, the King of France. Perhaps if she had an affair...
Dick Turpin is terrorising the countryside around Upper Dencher. Captain Fancey and Sergeant Jock Strapp plan to put an end to his escapades, and enlist the help of the Reverend Flasher. Little do they know that the priest leads a double life. Then Madame Desiree and her "Birds of Paradise" arrive in the village...
Professors Vrooshka and Crump decide to visit an archaeological site to study the artifacts there. Lo and behold, it's right next to a caravan site where all manner of people are staying. With a randy Major owning the site, a snobbish mother, and the two professors' constant innuendos, the film ends with a sinking caravan site and a striptease performance as a replacement for the cabaret night.
Prepare for Six of the Best as the Carry On team cause chaos in the school yard. When a well-loved headmaster decides to retire, his scheming pupils have other ideas. The cunning boys unleash a campaign of practical jokes, armed with gin, itching power and bombs!
With a flu epidemic running rife, three new bumbling recruits are assigned to Inspector Mills police station. With help from Special Constable Gorse, they manage to totally wreck the operations of the police force and let plenty of criminals get away, even before they arrive at the station. They all have to prove themselves or else they'll be out of a job and Sergeant Wilkins will be transferred. Sub-plots include romances between Wilkins and Moon, Constable and Passworthy.
The Wedded Bliss computer dating agency aims to bring together the lonely hearts of Much-Snoggin-in-the-Green. Its owner, Sidney Bliss, has enough complications in his own love life, but still produces a pamphlet called 'The Wit to Woo'. The strange collection of hopefuls lead to some outlandish matches—and jealousies are bound to lead to trouble.
Ebenezer Scrooge is a misery on Christmas, not allowing people money or doing anything to share Christmas cheer around his employees or acquaintances. While Scrooge is visited by three ghosts we see how his penny pinching has affected those around him.
Mavis Arden is a sensational movie star. Her following spans the world and her personal appearance tours prove her popularity. On her way home from one such appearance, Arden's car breaks down. She orders her publicity man to find her a place to stay, suspicious that he planned the break down to keep her away from a man. However, she soon finds herself mooning over an attractive repairman in town and listening to his ideas about inventing equipment for film.
Robert De Niro loses his cool when a computer technician finds pornography on his computer.
The legendary Roy 'Chubby' Brown stars in his very first feature length movie. Chubby is captured by a gang of feminist aliens from the 25th century and beamed up to their spaceship during his live show in Blackpool. Put on trial for crimes against woman, he is soon found guilty and sentenced to the ultimate penalty. Is this the end of the planet's favourite son? Will he escape? Or will Chubby be terminated? Co-starring super model Sara Stockbridge and Roger Lloyd Pack, 'Trig' from Only Fools and Horses. U.F.O. is the bawdiest, most outrageous celluloid experience of the year or indeed any year.
Anna's marriage is on the rocks after her husband John discovered she was having an affair with a much younger man. Confronted by her other half in the honeymoon suite of a Stratford-Upon-Avon hotel, Anna must try to save their marriage, deal with hapless hotel staff and come up with a plan to get through the experience. Unknown to either John or Anna, the suite’s bathroom is occupied by a semi-naked and comatose 21-year-old, who’s trying to sleep off a stag do.