Ray is a moderately successful writer of trashy horror stories and Colin is his idle friend who lives off him while simultaneously complaining about the rent that he's only theoretically paying. They live contented mundane lives sure in the knowledge that everyone is an idiot except them. Nothing could possibly ever surprise them and that's as it should be. When Ray develops writer's block and can't think of anything remotely scary to scare his 'idiot readers' with, there's a real problem that their cash supply may dry up. After reading a brochure Colin comes up with the idea of spending a weekend at 'the scariest guesthouse in Britain' - Guesthouse Fear. On arrival the place seems uninspiring with its spray-on cobwebs and hapless hosts, Mr and Mrs Pandemic, but as Colin and Ray soon find out, truly terrifying treats lurk behind every door.