Lois cooks a big Thanksgiving meal and invites the whole crew over for dinner, and Joe is shocked when his formerly M.I.A. son, Kevin Swanson, returns from Iraq.

Peter talks Joe into having an affair and gets into another epic fight with the giant chicken.

When the criminal who shot Joe years ago, leaving Joe in a wheelchair, becomes a fugitive, Quagmire, Joe and Peter team up to hunt the bad guy down.

Brian tries to use Dylan's television connections to further his career.

Peter takes up smoking cigarettes, and is approached by Mr. Stone, an advertising executive who wants Peter to be the face of his anti-smoking campaign under the caveat that Peter continues to smoke. Meanwhile, Stewie helps Chris battle bullies at school.

Brian gives Stewie an STD. Meanwhile, Peter and the guys fight back when another group claims their booth at The Drunken Clam.

On the night before Thanksgiving, Brian and Peter drunkenly devour the holiday bird, and then must go out to find a replacement. In Peter absence, Chris attempts to step up and become the man of the house.

Peter and his friends are sick of forgetting the million-dollar business ideas they come up with while drinking, so they strap on Joe's police body cams to record their every move. Meanwhile, Quagmire is trying to come to terms with an unexpected family development.

Stewie finally says his first word, and it's a swear. When Lois is shunned by the other moms, she tries to figure out where Stewie could have possibly learned it.